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Is it Time to Seek Help? 9 Signs Indicating When To Start Marriage Counseling

June 21, 2023 By Editorial Staff - Reviewed by Joseph Nolan

Is it time to seek help for your marriage? Discover when to start marriage counseling and save your relationship. Here’s our compelte guide to couples counseling.

Couple deciding when to start marriage counseling
Couple Attends Marriage Counseling | Canva Pro | SDI Productions

This post contains some affiliate links to products that I use and love. If you click through and make a purchase, I’ll earn a commission, at no additional cost to you. Read my full disclosure here.

  • Are you feeling disconnected from your partner?
  • Do you find yourselves arguing more often than enjoying each other’s company?
  • There is a lack on physical touch and intimacy in your relationship?
  • Struggling to communicate over money issues?

These are common issues that couples face, and it’s important to know when it’s time to seek professional help.

Marriage counseling can be a valuable tool in improving communication, resolving conflicts, and strengthening the bond between partners.

It’s easy to feel hesitant or embarrassed about seeking counseling, but there is no shame in wanting to better your relationship. On the contrary, seeking help shows that you value your relationship and are willing to work towards a happier future together.

So if you’re wondering when is the right time to start marriage counseling, keep reading for some signs to look out for and tips on how to prepare for your first session as a married couple.

In This Article

Toggle
  • Key Takeaways
  • Benefits of Marriage counseling
  • 9 Signs You Need To Start Marriage Counseling
    • The Little Know Formula For Bonding And Creating Greater Intimacy
    • 1. Feeling afraid to bring up issues with your partner
    • 2. Withholding affection
    • 3. Seeing your partner as an antagonist rather than a teammate
    • 4. Keeping secrets 
    • 5. Contemplating affairs
    • 6. Living like roommates instead of lovers
    • 7. Experiencing significant changes in sex life
    • 8. Constantly arguing over the same things without resolution
    • 9. Having ongoing relationship issues.
  • How To Prepare For Your First Counseling Session As A Couple
  • What To Expect During the Marriage Therapy Session
    • Take the Marriage Quiz and Discover Your Marriage Score
  • Tips On Choosing the Right Marriage Counselor
  • How Does Online Marriage Counseling Work?
    • The Hidden Problem Destroying Relationships From the Inside
  • Alternatives To Marriage Counseling
  • Frequently Asked Questions
    • Can marriage counseling guarantee that my marriage will be saved?
    • Is it normal for one partner to be resistant to counseling?
    • How long does marriage counseling usually last?
    • Should we continue attending counseling if we don’t see immediate improvements in our relationship?
    • Is it possible to attend counseling alone instead of as a couple?
    • Discover Why He Withdraws and How to Bring Him Back
  • Where To Find Help
    • Related Posts:

Key Takeaways

  • Marriage counseling can improve communication, resolve conflicts, and strengthen the bond between partners.
  • Signs that it’s time to start marriage counseling include withholding affection, seeing partner as an antagonist, and constantly arguing without resolution.
  • Waiting too long to seek counseling can lead to resentment, emotional detachment, separation, or divorce.
  • Couples should prepare for their first counseling session by identifying areas of conflict and clarifying goals, and should find a therapist who both partners feel respected and heard by.

Benefits of Marriage counseling

You’ll be pleasantly surprised by how much couples therapy can positively impact your relationship.

One of the biggest benefits is gaining a deeper understanding of each other and the dynamics at play in your relationship.

Therapy provides a safe space for you both to explore your feelings and perspectives, allowing you to set boundaries and intervene when necessary.

Another major benefit is improving communication skills. Your therapist will teach you effective coping mechanisms and strategies for resolving conflicts, which can serve as a roadmap for dealing with future problems.

By clarifying feelings and restoring trust, you’ll deepen intimacy naturally while building back the foundation of your relationship.

Overall, therapy can lead to personal growth and increased self-awareness, making it an invaluable tool for any couple looking to build or improve their bond.

9 Signs You Need To Start Marriage Counseling

If your relationship feels like a sinking ship and you’re constantly at odds with each other, it may be time to seek help from a professional. A Couples counselor can provide you with the tools and guidance needed to navigate through your problems.

Waiting too long before seeking counseling can cause resentment, emotional detachment, and even lead to separation or divorce.

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Here are 9 common signs that you need to start marriage counseling:

1. Feeling afraid to bring up issues with your partner

2. Withholding affection

3. Seeing your partner as an antagonist rather than a teammate

4. Keeping secrets 

5. Contemplating affairs

6. Living like roommates instead of lovers

7. Experiencing significant changes in sex life

8. Constantly arguing over the same things without resolution

9. Having ongoing relationship issues.

If any of these warning signs are present in your relationship, it’s important to seek help as soon as possible.

Here’s the key: Don’t wait for things to get worse; invest in the health of your relationship by starting marriage counseling today.

How To Prepare For Your First Counseling Session As A Couple

Get ready for your first counseling session as a couple by preparing to sort through issues, clarify goals, and make time for personal reflection.

Take some time before your appointment to identify areas of conflict in your relationship that you’d like to address with the counselor.

It’s important to remember that the goal of couples counseling isn’t to place blame or find fault, but rather to work together towards a more satisfying and healthy relationship.

Additionally, it’s essential that both partners come into the counseling session with an open mind and a willingness to give 100%. This means being willing to listen actively and communicate effectively throughout the session.

Ensure that you’ve cleared your schedule so that you can fully engage in the process without distractions. Remember, this is an opportunity for growth and positive change in your relationship.

What To Expect During the Marriage Therapy Session

During the therapy session, the therapist will guide both of you through open and honest communication to identify patterns that are hindering your relationship.

This may involve discussing issues such as interrupting each other before finishing a sentence or using negative language.

The goal is to create a safe and neutral space for exploration, where both partners feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings.

It’s important to remember that couples therapy is effective at restoring 75% of relationships, but results vary based on level of participation. It’s important to note that these statistics are refuted by several professionals including Dr. Lee Baucom.

Also Read: Can Therapy Save My Marriage

That’s not to say it isn’t worth it. It can be. But as this article explains, you should do your homework and invest in the process to make it work.

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The therapist will work with you both to discover unproductive communication patterns and how to change them.

While it can be anxiety-provoking to seek marital therapy, knowing what to expect can help alleviate some of those fears.

Trust in the process and be open to learning new ways of communicating with your partner – it could be just what your relationship needs.

Tips On Choosing the Right Marriage Counselor

Finding the right couples therapist is crucial for saving or strengthening your relationship, so it’s important to do your research and ask the right questions.

Starting online is a good jumping-off point, but make sure to search for therapists with credentials in couples work. Use keywords to describe circumstances and concerns and check with health insurance for coverage. You should also ask therapists if they work on a sliding scale.

When looking for a couples therapist, consider their approach and style.

Both partners should feel respected and heard, and the therapist should not take sides.

It’s also important that both partners feel confident in the therapist’s ability to help them through their issues. Remember that feedback to the therapist is appropriate and can make therapy more effective, as therapists aren’t all-knowing.

With some legwork, you can find a licensed family therapist with experience in couples therapy who will be able to guide you towards solutions that work for both of you.

How Does Online Marriage Counseling Work?

Online marriage counseling is a form of therapy that allows couples to receive counseling services from the comfort of their own home.

Here are some ways online marriage counseling works based on the search results

  1. Virtual sessions: Online marriage counseling sessions are conducted through video conferencing, phone calls, or messaging platforms. Couples can choose the mode of communication that works best for them.
  2. Similar to in-person counseling: The process of online marriage counseling is virtually identical to the work done in-office. You can expect the same kind of interaction you would get if you were in person. It is face to face; only virtual.
  3. Convenient: Online marriage counseling is more convenient than traditional in-person counseling. Couples don’t have to worry about traveling to the therapist’s office, taking time off work, or finding childcare.
  4. Flexible scheduling: Online marriage counseling offers more flexible scheduling options than traditional in-person counseling. Couples can schedule sessions at a time that works best for them, including evenings and weekends.
  5. Potential drawbacks: Online marriage counseling has potential drawbacks. Receiving counseling at home may lead to more distractions. Screen-based sessions may feel less personal, and body language cues can be easier to miss. Technology issues can be a challenge, especially if you’re dealing with a spotty web connection. Depending on the platform you’re using, there could be delays while you wait for a therapist to respond to your messages.

Overall, online marriage counseling can be an effective way for couples to receive counseling services from the comfort of their own home.

Couples can choose the mode of communication that works best for them, and online counseling offers more flexible scheduling options than traditional in-person counseling.

However, there are potential drawbacks to online counseling that couples should consider before choosing this option.

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Futher Reading

Growing Self on marriage counseling

Talkspace about online therapy

Alternatives To Marriage Counseling

If marriage therapy doesn’t seem to be the solution for you and your spouse, there are other alternatives.

In fact, our first recommendation (before spending money on counseling) is to invest in a program designed to give you the skills to improve your relationship.

If your marriage is in crisis, begin with Save The Marriag System by Dr. Lee Baucom. He has helped thousands of couples navigate the rough waters of marriage crisis.

If you are not in major crisis, Brad Brownings course (Mend The Marriage) will give you the tools to lay the right foundation to build a strong marriage. His introductory video explains the three biggest mistakes couples make and how to fix them.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can marriage counseling guarantee that my marriage will be saved?

No. Marriage counseling cannot guarantee that your marriage will be saved. But it can provide a safe space to navigate obstacles and develop healthy communication skills.

There are many factors that determine the success or failure of counseling. With commitment and effort, it is possible to rebuild trust and strengthen your bond.

Is it normal for one partner to be resistant to counseling?

It’s not uncommon for one partner to be resistant to counseling, especially if they feel like it’s an attack on their character. It’s important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding, and try to find a way forward together.

How long does marriage counseling usually last?

Marriage counseling typically lasts around 12 sessions, but can vary based on the specific needs of each couple. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength and shows your commitment to improving your relationship.

Should we continue attending counseling if we don’t see immediate improvements in our relationship?

If you don’t see immediate improvements in your relationship after attending marriage counseling, it’s normal to feel discouraged. However, it’s important to continue attending sessions and trust the process. Sometimes progress takes time, but with dedication and effort, positive changes can happen.

Is it possible to attend counseling alone instead of as a couple?

Yes, attending counseling alone can be helpful in processing your own emotions and gaining insight into your relationship.

However, many therapist recommend couples attend couples therapy to work on communication and resolving issues together for a stronger relationship.

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Also Read: Pro’s And Con’s Of Marriage Counseling

Where To Find Help

We have resources available to help you create the marriage you desire and deserve.

The Healthy Marriage Quiz
If you want specific help for your marriage, or you want to know your healthy marriage score, take the marriage quiz. You’ll get immediate access with suggestions on how to improve your relationship.

Five Simple Steps Marriage Course
Marriage doesn’t have to be complicated. In this 5 part mini-series, you’ll discover practical steps to redesign your marriage.

Marriage Communication Bootcamp
Communication issues do not have to wreck your relationship. Our communication bootcamp will equip you to connect on a deeper level and cultivate skills to help you relate more effectively.

The Healthy Marriage Toolkit
Books, Courses, Programs, and Tools designed to help you create the marriage of your dreams.

Healthy Marriage Academy
Our courses will help you build a strong marriage. Each course is designed to meet a specific relationship need.

If you are having serious marriage struggles, we recommend starting with ‘Save the Marriage System‘ by Lee Baucom.

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Filed Under: Values

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