My wife and I buy a lot of bait because we fish frequently. Not to mention, it is one of our grandchildren’s favorite activities. We live in a lake community, so water activities rule in our neck of the woods.
There’s a new bait truck that sells fishing bait near us. It’s a small truck set up at a local gas station. I’ve passed it a few times and wondered about their stock and prices.
I like to support small businesses, so today, while getting gas, I decided to check it out.
As I approached, I noticed the owner outside, polishing the sign on the side of his truck. I walked up and asked, “Hey man, what kind of bait do you have?”
To my surprise, he responded with, “Are you illiterate?”
I paused. Looked at him. Shook my head. And turned and walked away.
This guy lost a customer. For life.
I could have mentioned the fact he was standing in front of the sign (which blocked my view).
Or the fact there are over 100 different species of worms in our area. Over 30 types of minnows. And at least 3 different types of crickets.
The place we usually buy bait has several different types of worms. We prefer one over the other.
He didn’t consider my question, or what I was really looking for.
His snark response left me with a strong impression he was NOT the kind of person I want to do business with.
Hence, I won’t.
Anyway, here’s the irony.
While he was focused on polishing his sign, thinking it would boost sales, he insulted a potential (regular) customer. Like I said. We fish often and buy a lot of bait.
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This situation made me reflect on how often we focus on the wrong things in our relationships.
We polish what doesn’t matter, while our character and attitude can undermine everything we’re trying to build.
Do a quick evaluation…and honest evaluation…of your relationship. Are you sabotaging what you are trying to build? Is your attitude, character, and behavior undermining what you are saying?
These are important questions. Questions we don’t ask ourselves enough.
5 Marriage Lessons From The Bait Truck Guy
Lesson #1: People Matter More
We live in an age where social shares, likes, and other viral metrics seem to matter more than honesty, respect, and good character.
This is not a ‘beat up’ this generation comment. Although I have six decades under my belt and I’ve watched the transformation of culture.
Here’s what I see:
- Technology has lowered our Cognitive Ability. Source
- Social Media has isolated us.
- And hate rules the political landscape.
That’s just the tip of the iceberg.
While I’m not suggesting we go back to Mayberry; I am recommending returning to those values. Values that said people matter.
The bait truck guy didn’t see this way. He was more concerned that his sign was clean and the letters were easy to read; all the while sending the message that people were expendable. Disposable.
What about marriage? How does this apply?
I’ll spell it out: Your spouse should matter more than all the other things.
I sometimes get pushback on this, but I stand my ground.
Husbands might say, ‘My job should be my priority because that’s what puts food on the table.‘
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Wives might indicate, ‘My kids matter most because a good mom takes care of her children.’
Both of these sound reasonable, but they are built on a straw man.
No one is suggesting you shouldn’t value your work. Or your children. Rather we should value our spouse more.
Before you hit the back button, here me out.
At some point, your job will be over. You will retire. Or move on to something else.
Your children will grow up, marry, and have children of their own.
And you…
You will be left with your spouse. Just the two of you.
This is why scripture offers this principle: Leave and Cleave.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)
If you fail to make them a priority now, it will be reflected in the type of relationship you have then.
Bottom line: Put high value on your spouse so you can build for the future you really desire.
What you plant in the garden of your marriage today will be the fruit you live on/with for the rest of your life.
Lesson #2: Treat People With Respect
This goes double for your spouse.
The bait truck guy definitely violated this one. He polished his sign so his marketing would look good, but insulted a potential customer.
Doesn’t makes sense.
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You may say, ‘Maybe he was having a bad day.’ Maybe. But here’s where I break with culture. That does not give you the right to insult people and treat people bad.
If your philosophy permits that, you are in for a rude awakening. Life doesn’t work like that.
We all have bad days. Internal issues that conflict our soul. Pains, wounds, and disappointments. That is no excuse.
Do the work so you don’t vomit that onto others. It’s a basic rule of life.
Because if you make it a habit of doing that, you will lose in the end.
Especially in marriage.
Bottom line: Respect should be a core value you hold tightly. And dearly.
It can’t be passing thought designed to manipulate others to get what you want. It has to be sincere.
Lesson #3: Treat People Better Than…
There are two sides to this concept.
People Over Data
Better than projects. The bottom line. Sales data. You name it. People matter more.
This is not about wiring, natural proclivities, and personality traits. None of that trumps good ole fashion ‘do right by people.’
Bait truck guy failed at this too.
I got the feeling (as I walked away) he was thinking, ‘That’s ok. There are more customers that will come my way.’
And…
He may be right. A lot of people in our town like to do business with locals. And a lot of them buy bait.
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But here’s the point. He won’t last with that mentality. Eventually, if people don’t matter more, they will do business where they do matter.
The Love Paradox
There is another side to this concept as well.
I call it ‘The Love Paradox.’ It’s where we care more about others than we do our own family.
I’m often puzzled why couples treat neighbors, friends, and co-works better than their own spouse.
It’s weird to me. Yet, I see often.
Your spouse is your partner. The one person you should be able to depend on (outside of God) when all else falls apart. They are your ‘go to’ person.
At least, that’s the way it should be. And in my opinion, that’s the way God designed it.
He even used marriage as a picture of His relationship with the church (His people). That ought to tell us something.
Lesson #4: Little Things Matter More Than You Realize
This is one thing ‘Bait Truck Guy’ doesn’t realize. There are things that matter more than other things.
We could talk about kindness, respect (mentioned above), honesty, and a host of other things. You get the point.
Understanding this principle can mean the difference in success and failure in business. And marriage.
What Doesn’t Matter In Marriage
- Grand gestures and gifts
- Expensive vacations
- Nice things
- Action and adventure
Sure. Some of these things are fun. Nice. Enjoyable.
But they don’t move the needle on your marriage in terms of feeling connected, loved, and valued.
What Does Matter In Marriage
- Creating an environment of acceptance
- Feeling emotionally safe
- Knowing you are loved
- Experiencing deep connection
- Enjoying each others presence
- Liking each other
I could keep building this list but it’s probably better for you to complete it yourself. Make a list of the things you really want in your marriage. Write them down. Pinpoint them.
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I bet most of those things fall into the second category.
Lesson #5: The Bottom Line Is Not The Bottom Line
The dollar amount you wind up with at the end of the day is not the real bottom line.
In business, the bottom line needs to be determined in terms of repeat customers. Who will come back and buy again. That’s where the real money is made.
Same idea goes for marriage.
What we think is the bottom line is most often not what matters most.
The real bottom line in your marriage is built on emotional security, trust, shared values, acceptance, and appreciation.
Call It A Wrap
In this article, I gave you a few important lessons I learned from my encounter with the guy selling bait at the local gas station. The big takeaway has to do with values and priorities.
What we value and set as a priority will grow and flourish. If we have good values in place, we will move in that direction. However, if we put value and priority on the wrong things, we will move in an unhealthy direction.
Making our marriage a top priority is a key to success. Don’t get sidetracked by other things and miss the truth that beginning with strong values is the key to a great relationship.
