Did you know you have a marriage money personality? Most couples never think about it. Which is weird, because money problems are one of the top issues in marriage.
Money is a touchy subject for many couples. Some couples argue often over money, while others barely speak about it at all. The amount that the two partners make, how they feel about personal finance, and how they are raised can all have an effect on how they handle money in their marriage.
Knowing your partner’s personality when it comes to money can help you decide how to manage your finances in a way that will be comfortable for both of you.
You may think that your spouse’s spending habits are just another source of conflict. That’s only a small part of the problem.
Money has a profound impact on marriage. For instance, did you know that couples who live together but don’t share finances are much more likely to get divorced? Or that worry about not having enough money affects stress levels in relationships?
If you want to avoid some of these financial struggles, there are things you can do right now.
With so many different money personalities out there, it can be hard to know how to respond to your spouse’s money personality. There are plenty of different ways that money impacts your marriage. Some people are frugal and have a stingy personality, while others are spendthrifts and have a generous personality. If you are married to one of these types, then you probably spend 75% of your time in the money trenches.
1. What is a “money personality”?
If you have a long-simmering financial disagreement with your spouse, you might have a different money personality. If you can’t agree on how much to spend on an item or what brands to buy, a couple of hours of personality testing will highlight the types of arguments that are popping up in your relationship.
The concept of money personalities is evolving and evolving as more people find their true financial selves and understand better their own attitudes and values about money spending. money challenges in your marriage, it’s time to learn more about how money impacts relationships.
The thing about money is that it’s like the weather: we’re all different when it comes to what we’re comfortable with, or not. You may have heard the terms “money personality” or “money type” before, but you may have no idea what they mean. Let’s talk about money types. There are seven comm
A money personality is characterized by one’s habitual attitudes, feelings and behaviors in relation to the use of money.
Individuals are subject to their own money personality. Some personalities will attract each other while others may repel. Money personalities are shaped by many different factors, including: family of origin, other relationships, social norms and cultural influences.
These factors coalesce over time to form our money personality—the ways in which we feel about, deal with and relate to money.
You can get a sense of your own money personality or your spouse’s by answering the following questions…
- Do you have a saving or spending plan?
- Do you need to be paid in cash?
- Do you prefer to pay by check?
- What is the most useful savings account for you?
- Are your friends wealthy or poor?
These are just a few questions to help you understand your own money personality. Other studies have shown that when a couple has similar money personalities, they have more peaceful, successful marriages. After all, we all deal with money differently.
Understanding your money personality is only one step towards making peace with your spouse’s money personality, though.
What else can you do?
There are two essential elements you can take into account now that you know about your spouse’s money personality.
Your partner’s spending behavior can be an emotional reaction to a misunderstanding. Spouses who understand each other are able to better discuss purchases. Knowing your partners’ money personalities will help you make better decisions together.
Each individual is subject to their own money personality. You can get a sense of your own money personality or your spouse’s by answering the following questions…
- What is your attitude towards spending money?
- What is your attitude towards saving money?
You may notice that if you buy something that isn’t immediately needed, you almost feel like you’re committing a crime. There’s even a specific term for this: “guilt spenders”. On the other hand, you may be really generous when it comes to gifts. You can spend money on just about anything, but it’s the thought that counts.
2. 4 Basic Money Personalities
There are four basic types of money personalities. Each one has their own set of values: Economic Indulgence, (I), Impulsiveness, (I), Not-So-Confident, (N), and Relaxed, (R).
This type of individual is a “spender” who enjoys the act of spending money. They do not like to save for the future because they believe that the future will provide them with what they need or want.
These indivduals have a tendency to spend on items that are spontaneous purchases which can lead to overspending.
This type of person is a “saver”, which means that their interests are to put money aside for all possible events in the future. Being a saver can mean that there is too much saved and not enough in the checking account, which will lead to stress.
This type of individual fluctuates between spending and saving money depending on their moods, emotions and personal situations throughout life. Spends some periods of time saving money while other times they are taking a chance and spending.
It’s Okay To Be Different
The first thing you need to do is realize that it’s OK to have different money personalities in your marriage.
To understand how and why it’s affecting the marriage, you have to ask yourself the question:
- What’s causing my spouse’s spending issues?
- Which of the 4 money types are you?
- Which type is your spouse?
- How can you work together to make sure you maintain harmony at home?
Money personalities stem from your temperament, how well you regulate your emotions and how you prefer to spend money (e.g., impulsively).
Money personalities mainly influence your spending, but it can also play a big role in other areas of our lives, such as our marriage.
3. How does a person’s money personality affect their marriage?
The individual’s money personality influences how they spend and save money. The spouse that has the same money personality is more likely to have a peaceful marriage. When there are mismatches in their financial personalities, couples might have conflict about purchases which leads to arguments.
This doesn’t mean a ‘saver’ who is married to a ‘spender’ will ultimately end in divorce. It simply means you have to work hard to make sure you are one the same page about your household finances.
Here are four things you can do to make sure you work together to prevent money from becoming an issue:
While working towards your personal values, compromise is often necessary to make sure you are both on the same page about finances.
2. Educate Yourself:
If there’s a money personality mismatch in your marriage, find out how each of you feels about spending and saving money so that you can make informed decisions together as a couple.
3. Seek Counseling Together:
Couples with mismatched personalities may benefit from discussing their financial personalities with a counselor and understanding how each behaves around money will help keep conflict at bay when spending or spending habits are an issue.
4. Be Accountable for Your Actions:
Know what behaviors of yours could be contributing to this problem and take responsibility for them rather than trying to
4. Who is in charge of finances?
Deciding who will be in charge of household finances is a major issue. In a perfect world, it should be the one who manages best. Unfortunately, this is often hotly debated among couples.
To decide, you need to take an honest look at three major factors:
- Your goals as a couple
- Your spending habits as individuals.
- Your overall money personality
Once you answer these questions , you may be surprised to discover that you don’t need to make a decision at all. Both spouses can manage the house and finances together, although they’ll probably function better as a team.
Whether one person takes the lead or not, you should strive to work together as a team when dealing with money issues.
5. What is a savings and spending plan
A savings and spending plan is a plan to save money and spend for your future.
This type of plan will use three important concepts to protect your future:
- Setting aside money for emergencies,
- Saving for your retirement, and
- Avoiding the temptation of overspending today in order to live more comfortably in the future.
Creating a Basic Savings and Spending Plan
A savings and spending plan is a way to ensure that you are saving money for a specific purpose or goal.
To develop the plan, set up two columns on your spreadsheet. Label one “needs” and the other “wants”.
For each category, identify whether it is necessary to save up for (a need) or it is a priority to spend responsibly (a want).
For each type of purchase, budget the amount of cash that you want to have in savings before you make this purchase.
Here is an example of a simple savings and spending plan. Notice, it is not complicated. But it will help you review your purchase BEFORE you make them and understand where your money is going.
Make an effort to think about purchases as just needs or wants instead of always giving into instant gratification desires. It can be difficult not shopping impulsively at first but overtime it will become easier and your bank account will thank you!
Many couples fight about money. Money is a highly emotional, controversial topic. There are many ways to approach it in order to reduce disagreements and get on the same page about how finances should be handled.
In this article we discussed five concepts related to your marriage money personality.
- 1. What is a “money personality”?
- 2. 4 Basic Money Personalities
- 3. How does a person’s money personality affect their marriage?
- 4. Who is in charge of finances?
- 5. What is a savings and spending plan
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