We are often asked what is the most difficult year of marriage? Each season presents challenges, but the first year is when the biggest changes take place. Everything is new the first year.
In this guest article, Prasanta Raut explores how to survive the first year of marriage by offering 5 things newlyweds should do to make the transition easier.
The most beautiful and strong foundation of relationships that one can ever have is marriage. Both of the partners’ lives are altered by the covenant of marriage. Change should be for the better because it is the biggest commitment of your life.
Everyone dreams about how their wedding should be. Whenever you see some beautiful wedding photos or be at some real weddings, you start to plan for your wedding.
Wedding planning takes months. Planning about wedding destination, decoration, cakes, wedding dress, bridesmaids dress, and the list goes on. It can be stressful, but it is fun at the same time. After all, this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Once the wedding is over, you will start to experience changes in your spouse’s life. It is often said that the first year of marriage is the most crucial, and you need to make it the most special one. During the first year of the wedding, you are in the honeymoon phase.
During the first year of marriage, most of the time is occupied by getting to know each other’s habits. Despite how long you have been with your spouse, you get to know more new habits after marriage.
In This Article
- 5 Things Newlyweds Should Do to Start Right
- Mistakes That Newly Weds Make
- FAQ About Fist Year Marriage Problems
- Final Thoughts on How to Survive the First Year of Marriage
5 Things Newlyweds Should Do to Start Right
To make your first year memorable, here are the essential things that newlyweds should do in their first year of marriage:
1) Find A Reason To Celebrate
Big or small events you share with your partner, always try to make them memorable by celebrating with them. Whether it is the first month of your marriage or your dating anniversary, always celebrate with your other half.
The celebration does not have to be lavish but does make sure that it is romantic. Take out a little time, spend it with your husband/wife, and forget about romance. Here are things that you can do for your small celebrations:
- Plan a romantic date night.
- Cook together
- Host a small party with your special ones
- Plan rooftop picnic
- If you both love adventure, plan some adventure activities.
- Go for a short trip.
- Stay in and express what you feel for each other.
- Do some photoshoots.
2) Plan Your Holiday Together
After marriage, life can be hectic; maintaining time for work-life and married life can be challenging. In the first year of marriage, you want to spend time with your partners and explore new places together.
Even though you have had a honeymoon, it does not mean you cannot go on other trips. You can plan a getaway during weekends or an overnight stay at some resorts.
While planning holidays with your partners, always keep in mind what they will prefer. It would help if you did not always force them on what you prefer. Sometimes you and your husband/wife’s preferences might not be the same, and it is OK to have a different choice. But do not constantly ask them to follow what you want.
For instance, your wife may love holidays at the beach while you love adventurous holidays in forests or mountains. If you have such cases if you have chosen beach holiday last time, then go camping next time.
3) Make Your House Home
After marriage, you change your house; you build a home with your spouse to share your dream and plan your entire life. You need to create your own space to spend your time without getting disturbed by outside elements.
Create a cozy and comfortable space to spend time with your spouse. You should make sure that your house is comfortable enough to eliminate all the tension and stress you get at your work.
Apart from setting up elements at home, you may argue with your better half, who will do house chores. Both of you might want to avoid doing dishes then instead of arguing, you can set rules or schedule for doing chores.
4) Discuss Future Plan
The word future stresses everyone. You married your better half thinking of spending the future with them. There might have some discussion and planning about your future before marriage. But once you get married, future planning gets serious.
There are lots of things that you need to plan for the first year of marriage. Planning after marriage is not just about family planning; it is about planning everything like financial planning, your career, interests, passions, and so on.
Many couples have differences with their spouse about financial issues. If you plan to have a beautiful home with your other half, they both need to discuss saving. It would help if you planned not to make extra expenses, investments, emergency funds, and so on. Hence, the first thing that you need to plan is the financial plan.
Likewise, it would help if you also discussed family planning once you get married. You may not want kids for specific years; you do not know what others want without discussing.
Apart from that, it would help if you plan your career dream, vacation, education plan, etc.
5) Plan How To Solve Any Conflict
Having conflicts between any married couple is expected since it takes time to get used to each other’s habits. There is probably no couple who do not have conflict. Everyone’s opinion is different, and disagreement in opinion is expected. Things you want and like might not be liked by your other half, and it’s okay.
However, it would be best for you to plan how to resolve the conflict between you two.
To resolve conflict first thing that you need to do is communicate. Explain things that you disagree with them and things that are pinching you. Your husband/wife will not know what you feel unless you communicate. Hence, good communication is crucial in a happy marriage.
Married couples should make the rule of resolving their conflict within 24 hours of their conflict. Communicate with your partner when they are calm and ready to communicate, but do not force them to communicate can lead to more conflict. Also, do make sure that you do not go to bed fighting.
Moreover, both of you need to be open-minded, which will help you solve the conflict peacefully.
Mistakes That Newly Weds Make
You might expect your world to be full of flowers and rainbow, full of blissful everywhere, but things might be slightly different. Every day might not be the best day; you may have a conflict with your spouse some days.
There are some common mistakes that newlyweds make due to which conflict and differences among couples can occur. Here are some common mistakes that newlyweds make:
1) Trying to Change Your Partner
It is not possible for you to like everything about your other half. There might be some things that can annoy you about one another. While you are in a relationship, you may think of changing your other half once you get married.
Thinking of changing your spouse after marriage can be the big mistake you can make. If you find something annoying about your better half, talk about it but do not change it as soon as you get married. It might be their habit, and trying to change them can irritate them. Hence, it is advised for newlyweds to try not to change one other’s habits.
2) Insufficient Communication
Insufficient communication is the common complaint that women make to their husbands once they get married. Before the wedding or when you are in relation with your partner, you may call or text them as soon as you get free time.
But after marriage, you think that your partner is right beside you, which may reduce communication. Not having enough communication with one other can bring a gap in relationships.
Whether you are having some minor fights or discussing groceries, you need to communicate with one another and resolve them.
3) Not Setting Boundaries
Another common mistake that newlyweds make is not setting boundaries among friends and family. Many times couples take their relationship for granted and lets third people come between you two.
You need to understand that your spouse is the one with whom you are sharing your entire life. Thus, they should be the ones with whom you share your happiness and secret at first.
It would help if you discussed how to not let people come between you two. Discuss boundaries on this that you want to create between you both and third parties.
A related article by Prasanta: How to Setup Parental Control on Tiktok?
4) Expecting Things Like in the Movies
There is no doubt rom-com movies have increased your expectations toward your husband or wife. Movies always increase expectations among women especially. But in real life, the relationship is not the life that we see in movies.
It would help if you did not make any expectations of your married life or your consort. Keep in mind that marriage is never perfect, and you are the one who should be making an effort to make it perfect.
5) Getting Difficult To Get Along With In-Laws
Marriage is not about you and your spouse; it also creates new relations between two families. Strengthening your relationship only with your partner is not enough if you both plan to get into each other’s lives and accept the people that are important to them.
Not loving your in-laws or not trying to get along with your spouse’s families can lead to trouble in married life.
FAQ About Fist Year Marriage Problems
Here is a list of related questions on the difficulty couples experience in the first year of marriage.
What is the hardest year of marriage?
Usually, the first year of marriage is considered the hardest as adjusting to one others’ life and getting used to new relations can be challenging. Even if you were in a live-in relationship with your partner, staying as a married couple is different from staying as boyfriend and girlfriend.
What are the three C’s of a Happy Relationship?
Three C’s of a happy relationship are:
What’s the best marriage advice?
Here is the best marriage advice that you can give to a newlyweds couple:
- Never stop making your relationship fun
- Always remembers your commitment
- Discuss your financial condition openly.
Final Thoughts on How to Survive the First Year of Marriage
No matter how long you have been in a relationship with your spouse, you will get to know more about them once you get married. This is why knowing how to survive the first year of marriage is so important.
You may expect a lot when you get married, and expectations might not be like reality which can disappoint you.
In this article, Prasanta Raut offered 5 tips on how to survive this most crucial year and 5 mistakes that put your relationship in jeopardy.
A brief recap of what we covered:
- 5 Things Newlyweds Should Do to Start Right
- Mistakes That Newly Weds Make
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