Looking for solutions for intimacy issues in marriage? Here are a few tips for resolving intimacy issues in your marriage:
A survey conducted by the National Opinion Research Center found that 13% of married men and 14% of married women said they were either “not very happy” or “not at all happy” with their sex lives.
The same study showed that 22% of men and 15% of women had not had sex within the past year. Intimacy issues are not uncommon in marriages, but if you want to continue having a thriving marriage, it’s important to resolve these problems before they become more serious.
Sexual intimacy is an important factor in building a strong marriage. It is certainly not the only part of your relationship couples should work on, but it is often a point of tension in marriage.
In this article, we offer 7 practical, no-nonsense tips to help you create an intimate relationship so you enjoy your married life.
Tip #1: Recognize That The Problem Exists.
The first step in solving physical intimacy issues in a marriage is to recognize that the problem exists. Many couples fail to acknowledge a problem, or they attribute it to something that’s out of their control. This can lead to resentment and anger, which will not help with resolving the issue.
Take time to talk about what you think might be causing the issue and
Some of those negative patterns may have involved friends. Surround yourself with people who value marriage and where there’s widespread support for making yours work.
Tip #2: Talk With Your Spouse In A Kind And Open Manner.
To deal with intimacy issues in marriage, kind and open communication is key when it comes to resolving intimacy issues. It’s important to talk with your spouse in a kind, open manner so that they feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and emotions with you.
You should also avoid being judgmental or critical of them as this will only make them defensive. Instead, try to be non-judgmental by accepting your spouse for who they are without criticizing their behavior or making comments about their body type.
Kelly Sinning, a Colorado-based licensed professional counselor, likes to give her clients the homework of simply talking with each other.
When communicating with each other during times of conflict, keep in mind that both parties need:
- Honesty – No one wants false promises or lies! Be honest about what’s going on in your mind and heart; don’t hide anything from your spouse (even if it’s embarrassing).
- Patience – It takes time for feelings of sexual desire to develop after an argument has happened; even then there may still be some tension between the two of you which needs time for things to settle down before another intimate encounter can take place without causing any more problems between yourselves! So give yourselves some time before working through things together again.”
- Reflective Listening – The key to reflective listening is understanding what your partner is trying to communicate without interrupting him/her. This technique helps build trust and intimacy because it allows each person to speak freely about his/her feelings and thoughts.
For instance, let’s say your spouse tells you he feels ignored. You could respond with something like, “That must really hurt you. I’m sorry I didn’t notice.” Or, you might try saying, “I hear you feeling neglected. Is there anything I can do to help?” If you use “I” phrases instead of “you” statements, you’ll make your partner feel heard and validated.
Tip #3: Find Ways To Have Fun Together Beyond Sex – The Best Solution For Intimacy Issues In Marriage.
If you are having trouble with intimacy and your sexual relationship, you and your spouse must find ways to have fun together beyond sex. This will help keep the spark alive in your marriage and make it easier for both of you to work through any issues that arise later on.
You can do this by finding ways to spend time together as a couple outside of bed, such as going out on dates or just talking about things that interest each other.
It’s also important for couples to find activities that don’t require touching each other all the time, like watching movies or playing games together. Remember: Sometimes being apart from one another is good too!
Discuss what you each like about intimacy and sex, and see if there are points where your likes overlap.
Tip #4: Think Of Things You Can Do Together That Don’t Require Touching – The Unique Solution For Intimacy Issues In Marriage.
When you’re just not feeling it, sometimes the best thing to do is to take a break and do something else. It doesn’t have to be an intense experience, either; maybe you can just go on a walk together or go see a movie.
Maybe your partner has a favorite band that’s playing at the local bar, so you could go check them out together (and make sure they don’t get too drunk). Or maybe there’s some kind of festival going on that interests both of you—a food festival or street fair or art market might be just what the doctor ordered!
Tip #5: Remember That Intimacy Issues In Marriage Cannot Be Resolved In One Day.
Remember that intimacy issues cannot be resolved in one day. It takes time to change a relationship, and it’s important to remember this when you’re trying to solve intimacy problems with your husband or wife.
Don’t expect to fix it in one conversation don’t even expect to fix it at all! Intimacy issues can take months or even years of hard work on both partners’ parts before the problem is solved permanently.
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Tip #6: Seek Help From A Trusted Friend, Pastor, Or Therapist.
To resolve the intimacy issues in marriage, seek help from a trusted friend, pastor, or therapist. It is easy to say that you want to be intimate with your spouse, but it’s not always easy for couples to figure out how to make it happen.
If you and your spouse are having trouble with intimacy in marriage, seek help from a professional who is trained in this area (such as a pastor or counselor).
Don’t be afraid to ask someone who is trained in this area for advice or guidance on how they can help your relationship grow stronger as husband and wife!
I would offer this advice when seeking advice: Be cautious of with whom you share intimate details about your spouse.
I always recommend young couples have a ‘safe place’ they can go when things get heated. This ‘place’ should be someone you trust, and someone who loves both you and your spouse. I never recommend a family member for this role. Parents especially tend to hold grudges and are slower to forgive.
When you ‘over share’ details of your struggles with family, they may have a hard time moving on, even after you have long forgotten the problem.
Your safe zone needs to be someone who will hear you out, but not take sides. Their role is to allow you to get it out of your system. But they will not think bad about your spouse (or you for venting).
So, when you open up to friends, make sure they are people you trust.
Mark Merrill recommends:
Surround yourself with people who value marriage and where there’s widespread support for making yours work.Source
Tip #7: Intimacy Issues In Marriage Are Common But They Can Be Worked On With Kindness, Acceptance, And Patience.
Intimacy issues are common. They happen to all couples, not just you. It’s not a reflection on the quality of your marriage or you as a spouse. It’s not even necessarily a reflection on the person with whom you’re intimate—they may be struggling with their issues that have nothing to do with sex or closeness.
It’s important to remind yourself that intimacy issues in marriage aren’t always an indication of something being wrong with either partner; they can arise from other factors altogether!
It is important to realize (recognize) that emotional intimacy and physical intimacy are linked. While one is not the complete measure of the other; generally speaking, when emotional connection is present, sexual intimacy follows.
Our advice is to work on emotional connection first. Most all other things fall in place once there is a strong bond.
Final Thoughts on Solving Intimacy Issues
Remember to take things at a comfortable pace, and be open with your partner. As long as you both are committed to working on the problem, you’ll be able to find solutions that satisfy both of you.
If intimacy issues make it difficult for you to communicate with your spouse, then try sending them this article or discussing specific tips that you think would benefit the relationship.
Once you’ve opened up a line of communication and started experimenting with new ways to get along, intimacy issues will no longer seem like an insurmountable obstacle between two people in love.
- Tip #1: Recognize That The Problem Exists.
- Tip #2: Talk With Your Spouse In A Kind And Open Manner.
- Tip #3: Find Ways To Have Fun Together Beyond Sex – The Best Solution For Intimacy Issues In Marriage.
- Tip #4: Think Of Things You Can Do Together That Don’t Require Touching – The Unique Solution For Intimacy Issues In Marriage.
- Tip #5: Remember That Intimacy Issues In Marriage Cannot Be Resolved In One Day.
- Tip #6: Seek Help From A Trusted Friend, Pastor, Or Therapist.
- Tip #7: Intimacy Issues In Marriage Are Common But They Can Be Worked On With Kindness, Acceptance, And Patience.
Here is a list of resources and tools you can use to get back on track and stay on track in your marriage.
Connecting and Communicating
1000 Questions For Couples is designed to help you connect on a deeper level to create intimacy and trust in your relationship.
Relationship Rewrite will help you regain and rediscover the magic and love you once shared.
Respark the Romance helps couples capture passion in their marriage.
Secret Survey is based on the research of Michael Fiore after surveying thousands of men. It is enlightening. Designed for women.
Our Courses and Quiz
We have courses available that will help you grow your marriage relationship and create the marriage you desire and deserve. Visit our course library here.
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