Is social media and marriage compatible? In this article, we discuss the role of social media and marriage and present ideas on how to create trust by limiting social media use when you are together.
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Social media is great for keeping up with friends, finding new people to connect with, and virtually traveling all over the world. But what’s not so great is how it can make your marriage feel distant.
According to Laura Sell of McKinley Irvin Family Law:
Growing research has shown that increased usage of social media has had a negative effect on marriages and relationships. Higher levels of social media usage have led to more marital problems, infidelity, conflicts, jealousy, and eventually divorce.
(Source)
Let’s take a look at what social media does in our lives and how to avoid its negative effects on your marriage.
In This Article
1. Social media is not just an app
“Social media is not just a smartphone app because it’s affecting our lives in a way that we never could have seen coming.” ~ Matt Farrington
Social media is so much more than just a smartphone app. It’s affecting the way we think, the way we view the world, and even our attitudes towards certain things.
Social media can make us feel bad about ourselves and cause us to question our worth. We measure ourselves (and our relationships) by what other people post online.
It is a constant reminder of the world around us. It’s a constant reminder of our own worth. We see everything we’ve done online, from what we eat and wear to who our friends are and what we do with them.
We also see every mistake we’ve made, from forgetting something important for a friend or family member (letting them down) to not being able to finish something that was important to us (being late for work).
When you’re scrolling through social media, there are so many options to choose from, so it makes it easy to feel unimportant or bored. And extremely overwhelmed.
Social Media is the way we communicate with each other nowadays.
Social media apps have replaced texting and phone calls.
We rely on social media now to communicate with our friends and family. We use it every day to share what we’re doing, where we’re going, and who we’re with. In the past, it was a big deal if you could even call your grandparents on their landline. Nowadays, everyone has a smartphone so people can talk to everyone at any time they want to.
Social media gives us a way to escape from reality if we get bored or are having an especially rough day. Getting updates on what’s going on in the world around us is great because it keeps us informed of current events and developments with others in our life.
It is how we keep up with the world around us and our lives. It gives us the false impression we’re not alone.
We use it to get updates on their friends, family members, and even strangers. Social media is a great way to get in touch with people who have common interests or may be going through something similar to us.
We have the ability to connect with everyone around the world as if we’re right there next to them.
The problem is that people have become way too dependent on social media for communicating with others and we're losing our ability to communicate in person. Click To TweetThe problem is that people have become way too dependent on social media for communicating with others and we’re losing our ability to communicate in person.
The more time we spend on social media, the less time we have to spend on ourselves and our family.
Spending too much time on your phone or computer can make you feel disconnected from the world around you. It makes you feel alone, depressed, and anxious. You begin to feel unhappy because all of your friends seem so much happier than you are even though they’re going through tough times just like you are.
Social media is part of your daily routine.
Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and other apps are part of our lives, like the shower, toothbrush, or hairdryer. The constant urge to check our phones is called nomophobia (fear of not having your phone on you).
Have you ever gone somewhere without your phone, and suddenly felt a severe panic to get it back? This is nomophobia. You’ve become so dependent on social media that it’s become a part of your daily routine. It’s hard to go out into the real world without checking Instagram, but try breaking yourself off from this habit and see how much more enjoyable every experience becomes.
This causes a lot of problems because you fall into the trap of checking it too much.
The fact is that people check their phones constantly. They make that a habit because they need it for information, for work, and so on. And having no access to something makes those first few minutes when you get home kind of exciting and frightening at the same time.
Related: 16 Habits of a Healthy Marriage
Social media can be addictive and you can lose control of it.
Social media can be addictive, and it’s hard to control. We get a notification and grab our phones immediately, even though we may have been planning on eating dinner with the family or spending some time outside.
Some people spend time scrolling through their social media apps for hours at a time. It becomes an addiction because you crave that dopamine when you scroll through your feed and see what other people are doing.
Dopamine (and other feel-good chemicals) are released in your brain every time something rewarding happens (e.g., checking Facebook). This makes it addictive.
This dopamine rush gives you a false sense of happiness.
Related: How To Make My Marriage Happy Again
We get this chemical release from scrolling through the feed as it makes you feel more connected to your friends and the world around you. The problem is, this sense of happiness is short-lived, and when it’s over you crash hard.
You may feel like your life isn’t as exciting as theirs. The positive feelings that come from scrolling through social media quickly disappear, leaving us feeling lonely and anxious. This can lead to depression too.
2. How does social media affect marriages?
Social media has a negative impact on marriages and families because it creates a conflict among the family.
It creates conflict by keeping the family apart. Social media can also affect families by reinforcing negative beliefs about each other without actually communicating them.
It can be used by the family as a way of attacking each other, which will bring more stress and conflict into the home. Family members may be tempted to lash out at their spouse through a post on social media.
It can also affect families by reinforcing negative beliefs about each other without actually communicating them. Social media can also cause marital problems and irrevocably damage a marriage.
Relationships are strengthened when couples keep an eye out for each other’s best interests. When you focus on the good in your partner, it’s much easier to overlook the negative. This is true in all relationships—but definitely true… Click To TweetRelationships are strengthened when couples keep an eye out for each other’s best interests. When you focus on the good in your partner, it’s much easier to overlook the negative. This is true in all relationships—but definitely true with your marriage.
Couples and families have it in their power to be happy with each other and create a pleasant and peaceful home environment. However, no couple or family on earth is perfectly happy, perfectly stable, perfectly functioning. Every couple and family has difficulties. The key is how well they can work together to deal positively and effectively with these challenges.
(Source)
Below are a few other warning signs about the over-use of social media:
- Social Media has a negative impact on kids and teens because it can affect their healthy development while they’re growing up.
- It also makes people feel anxious about how others perceive them.
- Social media has a negative impact on marriages because the more time we spend on it, the less time we have to spend on ourselves.
- It’s difficult to strike a balance in the relationship between spending time together versus spending time on social media.
- It’s hard to get away from social media (especially if your partner is addicted) because it’s become a part of your daily routine.
- The more time you spend on social media, the less time you spend on yourself, which can lead to depression.
- Social media doesn’t allow us to feel important and can make us feel like it’s a waste of time.
- Social media harms children because it takes away time that they could spend learning from adults and developing social skills to interact with other people in the real world.
- Kids are losing the chance to make new friends, try new activities, and travel.
- Many kids spend too much time playing video games and not enough time interacting with adults.
To limit social media consider powering down at a set point each night.
3. How to avoid the negative effects of social media on your marriage
Have you ever felt like social media is taking over your life? We’ve compiled a list of ways to cut it down so that it doesn’t harm your marriage.
The extent to which social media affects our lives and relationships has been debated for years, but it seems the consensus is mostly negative.
Social media has a negative impact on marriages because the more time we spend on it the less time we have to spend on ourselves and our spouse.
It is hard to strike a balance in the relationship between spending time together versus spending time on social media. The more time people spend looking at their phone or computer, the less likely they are going to be smiling and happy in real life, which leads them to feel depressed.
You might consider creating a social media contract for your family.
5 Tips To Help You Find Social Media Balance
Here are 5 tips on how to find balance and limit social media in your marriage:
- Monitor your social media usage
- Establish rules for appropriate use of social media
- Take control over the devices that are in your home
- Set boundaries for social media and agree on what is appropriate use or abuse
- Discuss the negative effect of social media on your relationship
The internet has made it easier for people to connect with each other, but it has also had a negative impact on our lives and relationships in every way. Social media is a very powerful tool and can cause a lot of damage when used incorrectly.
Because of this, we must set boundaries and agree on what is appropriate use or abuse of social media. We must communicate with our friends, family members, and coworkers about how we want social media to work for us and the people around us. We need to choose wisely which sites we will use as they all carry their own unique dangers.
Final Thoughts on Social Media and Marriage
Introducing social media has made it easier for people to stay connected, but the internet also has many negative effects on people. It can have a negative impact on marriages because of how much time is spent on it and less time is spent with your spouse.
It is difficult to strike a balance, where you spend your time either being together or on social media. The more time someone spends on social media the less happy they are in real life which can lead to depression.
Devices such as smartphones and laptops are interrupting family bonding activities such as playtime with their children and getting outside their house more often which makes kids lose the opportunity to make new friends or explore new opportunities.
In this article, we discussed the role of social media and marriage and presented some ideas on how to create trust by removing (or limiting) social media use when you are together.
Summary Recap
- 1. Social media is not just an app
- 2. How does social media affect marriages?
- 3. How to avoid the negative effects of social media on your marriage
What’s Next?
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If you are having serious marriage struggles, we recommend starting with ‘Save the Marriage System‘ by Lee Baucom.
