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37 Signs Of A Selfish Husband: How To Handle A Selfish Partner and Save Your Marriage from Falling Apart

March 6, 2023 By Editorial Staff - Reviewed by Joseph Nolan

Are you in a relationship with a selfish husband? Learn these 37 signs of a selfish husband and how to handle a selfish partner. Find out how to deal with your partner’s self-centered behavior and make your marriage stronger.

Being married to a selfish husband can be tough, but recognizing the signs early on can help you deal with the issue before it becomes too much to handle.

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Selfish Man | Canva | Sanja Radin

This post contains some affiliate links to products that I use and love. If you click through and make a purchase, I’ll earn a commission, at no additional cost to you. Read my full disclosure here.

Selfishness is a trait that can put a strain on any relationship, particularly in marriage. A spouse’s selfish behavior might start small, but it can soon escalate into egocentrism that causes serious problems.

I recently heard this definition of selfishness:

Selfishness is an uncontrolled and insatiable craving for one’s needs, neglecting others without considering the consequences that could result or it’s impact on otheres.

Signs of a selfish husband vary from person to person and situation to situation, but they all have a considerable impact on the relationship.

To find out if your husband’s actions are self-centered, look out for these signs of a selfish husband:

  • Does he always put his own needs above yours?
  • Does he take pleasure in putting you down or making you feel guilty?
  • How often does he criticize your every move?

These are just some common examples of selfish behavior in relationships.

Selfishness is one of the most overlooked issues hurthing couples. Click To Tweet

Understanding the warning signs can help you better recognize and address the issue before it becomes too big to handle. Selfishness is one of the most overlooked issues hurting couples.

The following 37 signs will help you identify problematic behaviors and work towards creating a healthier relationship.

Suggested: Do You Struggle With A Self-Centered Husband?

In This Article

  • 37 Key Signs of a Selfish Husband
  • Results of Selfishness in Marriage
    • 1) It has a negative impact on your level of intimacy and connection as a couple
    • 2) It lowers marriage satisfaction and creates stress, unhappiness, and resentment.
    • 3) Neither partner gets their needs met.
  • 5 Ways to Cope And Create A Healthy Relationship
    • 1) It is important to communicate your thoughts and feelings in a clear, assertive manner.
    • 2) Set healthy boundaries around your own needs and priorities.
    • 3) Learn to practice patience and understanding towards your spouse.
    • 4) Seek out support from friends or family members who have gone through similar experiences.
    • 5) Enroll in a program that can help you navigate these tough issues.
    • Read More on this Topic:

37 Key Signs of a Selfish Husband

To keep this article a reasonable length, we simply list these 37 characteristics. It doesn’t take too much imgainiation to see how they apply to marriage.

Use this as a checklist to measure the selfishness in your relationship.

One word of caution: A person who exemplifies only one or two of these characteristics, or they only periodically behave on a few of these ways, doesn’t indicate total selfishness. In fact, only narcissists are ‘totally’ selflish.

Why Men Pull Away

We all have a tendency to want our own way and act in ways inconsistent with our beliefs, desires, and commitments. This is human nature. It’s not an excuse for bad behavior, but it does point out a reason for it.

These signs of a self-centered person should be seen as cumulative qualities. This means if they display more than a few of these consistently, they are acting in selfish ways.

1. Always putting his own needs and wants before yours.

2. Making decisions without considering your feelings or opinions.

3. Refusing to compromise or negotiate in arguments or conflict resolution

Take the Marriage Quiz and discover your marriage score and get suggestions on how to improve your relationship. You will also be sent the results of your quiz along with suggestions on how to create the marriage of your dreams. >> Take The Quiz Now <<

4. Frequently canceling plans or changing schedules without consideration for your plans or preferences.

5. Showing little interest in spending quality time together.

6. Ignoring your emotional needs and being emotionally distant.

7. Taking credit for things that you’ve done together as a couple.

8. Not respecting your boundaries, both physical and emotional.

9. Using manipulation tactics to get what he wants.

10. Blaming you for problems that arise in the relationship rather than working towards solutions.

11. Expecting you to always accommodate his schedule and lifestyle choices.

12. Turning every conversation back to himself and his own experiences. In other words, not listening in order to understand what you feel. No empathy.

13. Being dismissive of your concerns or problems.

1000 Questions for Couples

14. Displaying jealousy and possessiveness over you even when it’s unwarranted.

15. Disregarding important milestones in your life because they don’t align with his personal agenda. Think birthdays, anniversaries, promotions, etc.

16. Acting childish when he doesn’t get his way.

17. Using guilt tripping & other controlling techniques to keep you under control.

18. Saying hurtful things when angry, no matter how much they hurt you.

19. Demanding physical intimacy when you not comfortable doing so. In other words, he is not interested in romance, only in meeting his personal needs for physical touch.

20. Indulging in excessive self-admiration while criticizing others on many counts is another sign of selfishness. Is he critical of others without ever looking at his own behavior.

21. Having unrealistic expectations from you, children, and others.

22. Flirting with others even though he knows it hurts you. Always seeking attention from other women because he is insecure.;

23. Stalking and controling you on social media, reading your emails,and spying on your without cause.

24. He consistently breaks promises and/or commitments frequently causing disappointments which lead into resentment.

25. Displays signs of narcissism by taking the spotlight always and making excuses to avoid responsibilities at home.

26. He demands control over household tasks, finances, and other responsibilities without sharing the burden equally.

27. Uses “I forgot” after being asked to do something while playing video games, watching TV, or engaging in other insignificant things all day long.

28. Demands more than fair work distribution at home.

Conversation Chemistry

29. Never offering support during times of stress/anxiety/hardship unless faced with same situation themselves.

30. He is unable to accept “No” as an answer unless he gets what he wants.

31. Acts out childishly when is is angry or frustrated by giving you the silent treatment.

32. Makes up justifications instead of accepting blame for mistakes.

33. Offers insincere apologies quickly but never changes his bad behavour patterns.

34. Likes to pick a fight and argue over meaningless issues. Enjoys upsetting you emotionally.

35. Lies frequently involving insignificant topics; money spent, links clicked on computer devices, etc.

36. Needs constant attention, affirmation, and support. Is not secure in his own identity.

37. He has a prideful attitude and acts in arrogant ways towards others.

Take the Marriage Quiz and discover your marriage score and get suggestions on how to improve your relationship. You will also be sent the results of your quiz along with suggestions on how to create the marriage of your dreams. >> Take The Quiz Now <<

Results of Selfishness in Marriage

Being in a relationship with someone who is consistently selfish can undoubtedly lead to challenging and frustrating experiences. Living with a partner who only cares about their own needs can result in constant disappointment, resentment, and hurt feelings. It’s like being in a car with someone who only wants to drive in one direction; you’ll never get to the destinations you want or explore new paths together.

In a relationship, it’s important to balance each other’s needs and be willing to compromise. When one person puts their own interests above everything else, it can cause strain on the partnership. It’s like playing tug of war but only one person is pulling; you’ll end up falling flat on your face every time.

Trying to navigate a relationship where someone only cares about themselves is like trying to sail against strong winds; progress will be slow, if at all possible. Click To Tweet

It’s essential for both partners to communicate their feelings openly and honestly. Being transparent about what you need from the relationship will allow for ample opportunity to find common ground and meet each other halfway. Trying to navigate a relationship where someone only cares about themselves is like trying to sail against strong winds; progress will be slow, if at all possible.

The three big ‘end results’ of selfishness in marriage is:

1) It has a negative impact on your level of intimacy and connection as a couple

2) It lowers marriage satisfaction and creates stress, unhappiness, and resentment.

3) Neither partner gets their needs met.

Let me explain this last concept. We all have needs in our relationship, ranging from physical intimacy to emotional security and support. These needs are only met when we serve one another. We dig deeper into this concept in our video on ‘People with No Elbows.’

The concept in a nutshell simply states that relationships are constructed in a way (by God) that demands us to focus on meeting each others needs in order to have our needs met.

This is one of the purposes of marriage – learning to work together so that both partners feel fulfilled and secure in life. Serving is the way this comes about. Selfishness is the destroyer of serving.

A husband (or wife) that only focuses on what they want, need, and desire is working opposite of how married is designed to work.

5 Ways to Cope And Create A Healthy Relationship

How do cope or deal with a spouse that is self-centered? Here are five strategies to consider when coping with a selfish spouse.

1) It is important to communicate your thoughts and feelings in a clear, assertive manner.

Rather than placing blame or attacking your spouse, focus on expressing how their behavior impacts you and the relationship.

This approach can help your spouse understand the toll their self-centeredness takes on the relationship.

Suggested: How To Talk To Your Spouse About Being Unhappy

2) Set healthy boundaries around your own needs and priorities.

Focus on developing your own sense of identity and independence outside of the relationship. This can help you cultivate a sense of autonomy while also allowing room for growth within the relationship.

3) Learn to practice patience and understanding towards your spouse.

Recognize that their behavior may stem from deeper issues such as anxiety, insecurity, or trauma.

A 2013 report by Maria De Paola and Francesca Gioia indicates that patience (even more than love) is key to marriage success and satisfaction. With support and professional guidance, these underlying issues can be addressed in order to improve the dynamic between you both.

4) Seek out support from friends or family members who have gone through similar experiences.

This network of peers can provide valuable insight into different coping mechanisms and emotional survival tactics during difficult times.

5) Enroll in a program that can help you navigate these tough issues.

It’s difficult to know what to do and when to do it, especially when you are in the middle of turmoil and pain.

This is our #1 recommendation for couples in crisis.

Dealing with a self-centered spouse requires patience, communication skills and an ability to set healthy boundaries.

By practicing these strategies regularly and seeking additional support where needed –such as from friends, family members or counsellors- sustainable change in your relationship dynamic is achievable despite present obstacles

We have resources available to help you create the marriage you desire and deserve.

The Healthy Marriage Quiz
If you want specific help for your marriage, or you want to know your healthy marriage score, take the marriage quiz. You’ll get immediate access with suggestions on how to improve your relationship.

The Healthy Marriage Toolkit
Books, Courses, Programs, and Tools designed to help you create the marriage of your dreams.

Five Simple Steps Marriage Course
Marriage doesn’t have to be complicated. In this 5 part mini-series, you’ll discover practical steps to redesign your marriage.

Healthy Marriage Academy
Our courses will help you build a strong marriage. Each course is designed to meet a specific relationship need.

If you are having serious marriage struggles, we recommend starting with ‘Save the Marriage System‘ by Lee Baucom.

Read More on this Topic:

Before You Say 'I Do': Essential Questions For Christian Couples Before Marriage
Why Does My Husband Put His Mother Before Me? The Signs, Reasons, and Solution To This Complex Probl...
Can Marriage Counseling Help With Trust Issues? 5 Ways Therapy Can Save Relationships
Why Is My Husband So Selfish: 9 Reasons And What To Do To Regain Mutual Respect
Can A Man Have A Mid Life Crisis At 40? The Signs and Reasons Men Experience Mid Life So Early
Does Every Marriage Have Problems? Yes! But That's Not The Whole Story
How To Save My Marriage During Separation: 10 Things To Avoid At All Cost
Breaking the Betrayed Spouse Cycle: How to Heal from Infidelity

Filed Under: Trust, Values

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  1. Can A Selfish Husband Change? Yes. But Here's What You Need To Know - The Healthy Marriage says:
    March 7, 2023 at 7:14 pm

    […] it takes to bring about lasting change in a marriage that is marked by selfishness, let’s define what we mean by ‘selfish.’ The term implies certain things to different […]

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