Sexual Frustration In A Relationship: Where To Start Understanding And Communicating Your Needs

How do you deal with sexual frustration in a relationship? There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. Each relationship is unique and will require its own approach to addressing this sensitive issue.

However, some tips on how to deal with sexual frustration in a relationship include communicating openly and honestly with your partner about your needs and desires, being willing to experiment and try new things, and making sure to schedule time for intimacy and connection. If you are feeling particularly frustrated, it may also be helpful to consult with a sex therapist or counsellor who can help you explore the root of your frustration and find ways to address it.

In this article, we will address key factors in how to start the process of understanding and communicating your needs to off-set sexual frustration in your marriage.

Sexual desire and sexual satisfaction is an important part of marriage. It is one of the factors that determines the quality of life in your relationship. It is certainly not the ONLY one, but it is a significant factor. Physical intimacy helps us build an emotional connection with our spouse.

Although sex is a normal part of life, there’s still a sense of restriction surrounding the subject. This off-the-limits feeling can make even the most sex-positive person hesitant about openly discussing intimacy.

If talking about sexual frustrations to your partner feels slightly embarrassing, you’re not alone. A lot of the discomfort stems from being vulnerable and not knowing how your partner will react.

If you’re in a relationship and feeling sexually frustrated, you’re not alone. Here’s what you can do to deal with sexual frustration and keep your relationship healthy.

Despite your hesitations, communicating what you’re experiencing is one of the best ways to foster positive change. This article will help you understand your situation and where to start when talking with your partner.

Types of Sexual Difficulties

The first step to communicating with your partner about your sexual difficulties is to understand them yourself first. Here are a few sex-related issues that you may encounter when being intimate.

Erectile dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction (ED), also known as impotence, is the inability to maintain or get an erection. This condition typically occurs in men 40 and up but can also affect young men—usually due to other factors. ED affects up to 30 million men in the US, and the cases grow every year.

Vaginal dryness

Vaginal dryness is the lack of lubrication or moisture in a woman’s lower region. This condition can make intimacy rather painful and taxing. Vaginal dryness can occur in women during any age but is more typical in women 50 and up. The lack of moisture around that age is closely related to menopause.

Low libido

Low libido is the lack of or declining interest in sexual activity. A decreased sex drive can affect men and women of all ages. Your libido may fluctuate occasionally, but consistently having no desire to have sex is when you should acknowledge that there may be a problem.

Premature ejaculation

Premature ejaculation (PE) or early ejaculation is when a man has trouble refraining from reaching orgasm before he’s ready. Rapid ejaculation typically occurs before intercourse has begun or shortly after penetration. The lack of control over ejaculation can stem from various causes and affect men in all stages of life.

Pain during intercourse

Pain during sex is very self-explanatory. It is any pain that occurs during sexual activity. This chronic pain can occur in the vagina, the pelvic area, or the general lower region of a woman. According to The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists FAQ resource, nearly 3 out of 4 women have pain during intercourse at some time during their lives.

Causes of Sexual Dysfunctions

Now that you know the kinds of sexual difficulties there are, let’s look into the causes.

Underlying health ailments

Many underlying conditions can affect your sexual well-being. Medical conditions that can impact your sexual health include:

• Obesity
• High blood pressure
• Diabetes
• Heart disease

These health concerns can cause everything from ED to low libido. Using diabetes as an example, men diagnosed with type 2 diabetes are more likely to develop ED. Why? Because of the inability to properly circulate blood to the penis.

An American Diabetes Association article stated that the prevalence of ED in men with diabetes ranges from 35–75% versus 26% in the general population. Similar to diabetes, other conditions that cause wear and tear on the body can influence your sexual health.

Mental health issues

Your mental well-being and sexual health connect on a few levels. The first is trauma. Unresolved mental wounds can cause blocks within your mind that make it hard to be intimate. Due to your past experiences, engaging in sexual activity can beget or intensify emotions like frustration and fear.

Mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression can also affect your sex life. Your anxiousness can present itself during sexual activity as performance anxiety. Worry over performance during sex is common and often causes dysfunction like premature ejaculation or pain during sex.

Depression and other mental health issues can result in a general lack of interest in sex. While struggling to pull yourself out of a rut, it’s hard to keep your focus centered on intimacy.

Age

As mentioned previously, many types of sexual difficulties stem from getting older. Two of the biggest culprits of sexual dysfunction are menopause and low testosterone.

Menopause causes a fluctuation of hormones in women that make vaginal dryness, low libido, and chronic pain during sex a commonality. While older men don’t go through menopause, they do experience a drop in testosterone levels. This decline can have the same effect on men and cause similar symptoms—mainly lower libido.

Where to Start

Here is the part of the article you’ve been anticipating—the portion where we highlight solutions that may help you resolve some of your sex-related issues and improve communication.

Improve communication

Although this is easier said than done, taking the proper time to improve overall communication skills with your partner is essential. Without having a secure foundation in place, discussing sex-related problems can feel almost impossible. It may make you hesitant to bring things up for fear that it will turn into an argument or that your partner won’t listen to your needs and concerns.

For better communication, make sure that you start by practicing active listening. Don’t listen to respond. Genuinely hear what your partner has to say so you can fully understand their point of view. If you’re the one voicing your issues, be sure to remain confident and refrain from placing blame on your partner.

Try to use we statements rather than you statements. For example, “we need to figure out a way to improve this issue in the bedroom” instead of “you need to fix this.” Using we makes the conversation feel more inclusive and less alienating.

See a therapist

Whether you decide to seek a psychiatrist or a sex therapist, it doesn’t hurt to make an appointment. This tip is for people who don’t have a medical reason for their sexual difficulties or individuals who have prior trauma standing in the way of intimacy.

A licensed professional can help you work through the issues you’re experiencing in a professional and unbiased manner. Before choosing, do thorough research into the best professional for your situation. There are various types of therapy, so make your choice accordingly to shorten the process. Also, remember that once you choose a therapist, you can always switch however many times you need. You are not obligated to see only one doctor.

Maintain honesty

On your journey to improving communication about your sexual frustrations, stay honest. Honest with yourself, honest with your doctors, and honest with your partner. Not being entirely truthful to everyone involved will make it harder for you to progress.

For example, being untruthful to your doctor about the severity of your issues can prevent them from prescribing you the accurate medication or making the correct diagnosis. Furthermore, keeping things from your partner can prevent them from helping you in the way you need. This lack of communication can lead to even more intense problems in your relationship.

 Final Thoughts on Sexual Frustration

Now that you’ve read the entire article, you should have a better understanding of how to communicate your sexual difficulties to your partner. Remember, no one’s situation is the same, so don’t compare yourself to others. Take your intimate journey one step at a time.

Summary

• Types of Sexual Difficulties
  • Erectile dysfunction
  • Vaginal dryness
  • Low libido
  • Premature ejaculation
  • Pain during intercourse
• Causes of Sexual Dysfunctions
  • Underlying health ailments
  • Mental health issues
  • Age
• Where to Start
  • Improve communication
  • See a therapist
  • Maintain honesty
•  Final Thoughts on Sexual Frustration
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