Here are 4 tips on saving a low sex marriage. In low sex marriages, both partners may feel like they are not getting their needs met. This can lead to frustration and resentment.
In this article, we will discuss 4 practical tips in saving a low sex marriage.
There are many reasons why marriages may experience a decline in sexual activity. It is important to identify the reason for the decline in sexual activity in order to address the issue. Some common reasons for a decline in sexual activity include: stress, boredom, illness, work schedules, and children. Will discuss the major reasons below.
Once the reason for the decline in sexual activity is identified, it is important to address the issue. Some ways to address the issue include: communicating with your partner, scheduling time for intimacy, trying new things, and seeking help from a therapist or counselor.
Saving a low sex marriage takes effort, but it is possible. With some effort and communication, you can regain the intimacy you desire.
What is a Low-Sex Marriage?
Although you can probably put two and two together, a low-sex marriage, also referred to as a sexless marriage, is a union that has little to no sexual intercourse between partners. Given the nature of the topic, there isn’t a lot of research surrounding low-sex marriages.
However, through personal stories and information from sex therapists, it’s estimated that at least 10-15% of marriages are sexless.
Potential Causes of Low-Sex Drive In Marriage
Physical intimacy is an essential part of most marriages, and people tend to assume that every married couple is having sex. But that isn’t the case. If you and your partner chose to be in a sexless marriage because it works for you, that’s great.
But if circumstances slowly led to a low-sex marriage without you noticing, hopefully our tips will help you get back on track.
Before we discuss ‘how’ to restore physical intimacy, let’s look at the common causes of a low sex drive.
Here are the top four we hear about most:
1. Becoming a New Parent
Childbirth is no easy task, and for many women, neither are the months that follow. Most doctors recommend couples refrain from having sex for at least 4-6 weeks after having a baby.
However, depending on the situation, women may need to abstain for longer. Complications during childbirth like vaginal ripping can cause a woman to experience dyspareunia (pain during sex), vaginal dryness, and other sexual dysfunctions.
Research from Systematic Reviews states that 91.3 % of women suffer from postpartum sexual problems during the first year after having a baby. Becoming new parents also goes beyond physical hardships.
It can affect your energy levels, mental health (postpartum depression), and ability to focus on things outside of your child.
2. Getting Older
Your age plays a role in your interest in being physically intimate. While everyone is different, the consensus is that a decreased libido can start anywhere between 40 and 60 years old. Men typically begin to see lower testosterone production around 40, and this decrease can affect their libido. Women tend to experience menopause around 50, causing their progesterone and estrogen levels to change.
Aside from hormone fluctuations, aging also increases the chances of health complications. Common conditions older adults experience include arthritis, balance problems, and osteoporosis.
3. Long-Term Health Conditions
If you aren’t feeling your best physically, having sex is probably the last thing on your mind, and that’s okay. Long-term health conditions like cancer or heart disease can take a lot out of you. With most of your time and energy going towards getting healthy, you won’t necessarily want to be intimate—especially if your condition causes you pain.
Another thing to note is that the medications used to treat long-term and even short-term conditions can affect your libido. For example, specific anti-depressants and anti-seizure medications can cause you to have a lower sex drive. So it’s crucial to remain aware o fmedications that can affect intimacy.
4. Relationship Problems
Relationship problems can encompass many different things, but common issues include:
Any of these problems mentioned above can affect intimacy in the relationship if not addressed quickly.
These problems can make you feel like you’re hitting a block in your marriage and make you question the entire relationship. You won’t necessarily want to have sex with your partner when you’re constantly arguing. Even if you aren’t arguing, underlying tension over an unresolved situation can cause discord between you and your spouse.
How Can You Fix A Low Sex Marriage?
A low sex marriage can be very frustrating and discouraging. If you are in a low sex marriage, there are some things that you can do to try to improve the situation.
First, it is important to figure out what is causing the low sex drive. Is it a medical issue? Is there something going on in the relationship that is causing tension? Once you know what the problem is, you can start to address it.
If the problem is a medical issue, there may be some medication that can help. If the problem is something going on in the relationship, you will need to work on communicating and resolving any issues.
If you are both willing to work on the problem, you can improve your low sex marriage. It may take some time and effort, but it is possible to have a healthy and active sex life again.
Here are four tips to help you regain physical intimacy in your marriage:
1. Talk to a Doctor
If medications or specific health problems are what’s causing you to experience low libido, talk to a trusted healthcare professional.
In most cases, there are usually alternatives that you can use in place of a specific medication. So let your doctor know that you believe their education is causing problems, and they can usually switch you to something else. In the event that they cannot, consider holistic medicine as a means of increasing your libido.
Additionally, don’t be afraid to talk to a doctor about your sexual dysfunctions. Sexual dysfunctions may be an additional cause for why you have a decreased desire for sex in your marriage. Doctors can tell you the best course of action to take depending on what you’re experiencing. They can recommend everything from medications like Cialis for ED to products that can help with dyspareunia.
2. Make Time For Your Partner
As life happens, it’s easy for married couples to stop making time for one another. Between overwhelming jobs, children, family, and a fast-paced world, it’s reasonable to assume that you won’t be able to dedicate as much time as you would like to each other. However, there still should be enough time in your days to make your partner feel loved and not emotionally neglected.
To make more time in your day for your spouse, determine where you spend most of your time. Then, see if there’s either a way to incorporate your partner or cut back on how much time you spend on the activity/task. Get yourself organized with a schedule if you need to. Try to plan things with just the two of you so you can focus on reconnecting.
3. Work Through Your Problems
Do not let problems fester. Unresolved problems are how resentment grows, and it’s tough to fix. If you know that there’s a problem that has been causing you to feel upset or angry, talk to your partner about it. Try to approach the situation calmly, and refrain from pointing fingers, as this can lead to your significant other going on the defensive.
Prep beforehand if you need to. Use this time to gather your thoughts and emotions so you can go into the conversation level-headed. Also, be open to hearing what your spouse has to say. One-sided conversations are never productive. If you want things to improve, listen to what your partner says. Active listening will help you both feel heard and rebuild lost trust.
4. Start Small To Regain Intimacy
Depending on what’s led to your sexless marriage, you may just need to connect on an intimate level again. Maybe you’ve lost the spark, and things have gone stale. Or you just need to remember why you fell in love with your partner again. The good thing is there are ways to improve this.
An easy way to bring the spark back into your relationship is by going on dates—just because you’re married doesn’t mean you still can’t date your significant other. Take each other to spots you’ve always wanted to go to, or bring back some nostalgia by visiting places you loved before getting married. Becoming connected emotionally once more can help you feel that spark and make physical intimacy come easier.
No matter your reason for a sexless marriage, there are always ways to improve your situation. Keep trying, and don’t lose hope!
Also Read: Nitric Oxide For Sex
Final Thoughts On How To Save A Low Sex Marriage
A happy marriage is built on the foundation of trust, acceptance, shared values, and intimate connection. In fact, physical intimacy is one of the main factors that measure a couples marital satisfaction.
It is certainly not the only factor, but it is an important one.
Yet, many couples struggle to maintain physical intimacy in their marriage. In fact, many couples are not physically intimate at all!
The good news is that there are a number of ways you can improve your relationship and increase the frequency with which you have sex.
In this article, we outlined 4 tips to help you regain intimacy in your marriage and recover from a low sex drive.
- What is a Low-Sex Marriage?
- How Can You Fix A Low Sex Marriage?
Here is a list of resources and tools you can use to get back on track and stay on track in your marriage.
Connecting and Communicating
1000 Questions For Couples is designed to help you connect on a deeper level to create intimacy and trust in your relationship.
Relationship Rewrite will help you regain and rediscover the magic and love you once shared.
Respark the Romance helps couples capture passion in their marriage.
Secret Survey is based on the research of Michael Fiore after surveying thousands of men. It is enlightening. Designed for women.
Our Courses and Quiz
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