The empty nest transition can take its toll on your marriage. Learn how to reconnect with your spouse after kids leave the house with this post!
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Are you and your partner officially empty nesters? Whether you’ve sent your children off to college or they’ve moved out of your home altogether, it can be a difficult time to navigate all the feelings. As hard as this change may be, now is the time to be selfish and rekindle your marriage.
It’s normal for married couples to lose the spark when you’ve spent years focusing on parenting your children. So, how do you rekindle your marriage?
There are many ways to fall back in love with your partner. In this article, we discuss six unique ways to help you reconnect with your spouse and avoid the empty nest syndrome.
#1: Reconnect and Communicate
Reconnecting with your partner can be difficult at first, especially if you’re not the best at communicating with one another. If you’ve tried talking about your disconnect and you’re not sure how to rekindle the spark that’s been missing, there are practical things you can do to help.
If you and your spouse have been feeling disconnected lately, it may be time to consider taking a relationship course. A relationship course can provide you with the tools and resources needed to reconnect with each other in meaningful ways.
In a relationship course, you will learn how to communicate more effectively, identify areas of conflict, and develop strategies for resolving those conflicts. You will also learn how to express
You might also find a marriage course that focuses on effective communication helpful. Designate a few nights a week to navigate the marriage course together. As you’re going through it, talk about things you like and dislike about your marriage at the moment.
Chances are, you’re both feeling out of sorts with your relationship if you’ve put it aside and focused on other things like parenting. This can cause feelings of sadness and marital dissatisfaction.
The good news is there is life after kids. It takes some adjustments, but its possible for nthis stage of life to be a great part of your married life.
Learning how to put your relationship first may feel odd, but as long as you’re both putting in effort and taking it day by day, things will start to feel romantic again.
#2: Create New Routines
For so long you’ve been focusing on work and raising your children, so you more than likely got stuck in the same routine over the years. Now that you’re empty nesters, it’s time to create new routines together.
Start by dedicating one night a week for a date night. Whether that’s going out to dinner, cooking a favorite meal together at home, watching a movie, or going out with friends, spending quality time together is a great way to rekindle your relationship.
Another great way to talk and relate with one another is going for a walk after a long day of work. This is a useful way to stay healthy while also enjoying each other’s company.
At night, instead of going straight to bed, find a TV series you both enjoy and binge a few episodes. This is something you both can look forward to every night together.
Although we normally don’t recommend binging social media, it can be a nice break to watch a movie or special television show together. During the winter months (when we can’t get outside as much), Michelle and I have a few comedy series we enjoy. It helps us detox at the end of the day. (though neither of us are big ‘TV’ people).
#3: Plan a Getaway
Planning a vacation is a great way to reconnect and spend quality time. Start by making a wish list of places you both want to explore. If you can’t decide on one place, put all the possible options into a hat and draw a destination.
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They don’t have to be extravagant, but planning a small getaway every few months is a great way to look forward to something with one another.
Taking a vacation is a great way to reconnect with your spouse and strengthen your marriage. Taking the time away from home can provide an opportunity to put aside everyday stresses and focus on each other.
Doing activities together such as hiking, going to the beach, exploring a new city, or indulging in unique local cuisines can help you rediscover why you fell in love in the first place and build new memories together.
Rekindling the spark between you two will allow you to better transition into the next life stage together and ultimately give you both a new lease on life.
#4 Invest In That Dream Vacation Spot
If you both have a location that you love, you might want to consider investing in a vacation property. This would be a great escape during the winter months once you’re both retired.
Not sure how to get started? No worries if you don’t have investment experience. There are ways to do low-cost, to no-cost investing. You just have to do your research.
A good place to start is by using the money you already have – your home equity.
I’m certainly not an investment advisor, but investing in realestate is one of the top 4 (Best) uses of a home equity loan according to experts.
Opting for a home equity loan is an enticing way to finance your dream vacation house without breaking the bank. A cash lump sum combined with fixed payments over time can provide a secure solution for homeowners needing to fund their next project.
This is a smart option when looking to buy a vacation house because there are no restrictions on how you use the funds.
Not only would an investment property be great for vacationing or escaping the winters, but you could also use it as a rental property. Find a reliable vacation rental site to list your home like Airbnb or VRBO, to help get started.
Having a place to escape is also a great way to get the family together and create new memories.
#5: Get Out Of The House
Once Friday rolls around, you might not know how to spend your weekends now that your home is empty and your children aren’t around. At first, this can be emotionally upsetting, but finding new hobbies to do together is a great way to bond and keep yourself busy.
If you’re looking to reconnect with your spouse after an empty nest, hosting a game night can be a great way to do it. Not only will it give you and your spouse something fun to look forward to each month, but it will also provide an opportunity for you both to socialize with friends and neighbors.
You can start by inviting a few close friends or family members and then gradually expand your guest list.
Find New Hobbies
Another great way to reconnect is by taking up a new hobby together. Whether it’s painting, cooking, or gardening, having something to do together can help you both stay connected and create memories that will last a lifetime.
Finally, don’t forget to make time for date nights. Even if it’s just once a month , having a night out to reconnect and talk about your day can be a great way to stay connected.
Personal Note: Michelle and I once took a art class together. Not only was it fun and connecting for us, we discovered we both had a knack (her more than me) for painting. We have a few paintings in our home that we’ve done. It’s a great reminder of how simple things can be connecting.
Here Are A Few Ideas To Consider
This is a time to capitalize on the time you have together. These ideas will help you jump-start your brain to find ways you can connect.
1) Join a gym
If you and your partner enjoy fitness, consider joining a gym and going during the week. Some gym memberships offer a variety of classes you can enjoy together.
2) Virtual Wine Tasting
If you’re both homebodies and enjoy spending your Saturday nights curled up on the couch, a unique activity you can do together is joining a virtual wine tasting. Who knew this is actually a ‘thing.’
Virtual wine tastings are usually hosted by wineries via video chat and the wine will be shipped right to your door after signing up. No matter what you choose to do, finding something you both enjoy can help strengthen your relationship and rekindle your marriage.
It’s important to know that reconnecting with your loved one may not happen overnight and will take time. Becoming empty nesters is a huge life change that you’ll both need to get used to as a team.
We have resources available to help you create the marriage you desire and deserve.
The Healthy Marriage Quiz
If you want specific help for your marriage, or you want to know your healthy marriage score, take the marriage quiz. You’ll get immediate access with suggestions on how to improve your relationship.
The Healthy Marriage Toolkit
Books, Courses, Programs, and Tools designed to help you create the marriage of your dreams.
Five Simple Steps Marriage Course
Marriage doesn’t have to be complicated. In this 5 part mini-series, you’ll discover practical steps to redesign your marriage.
Healthy Marriage Academy
Our courses will help you build a strong marriage. Each course is designed to meet a specific relationship need.
If you are having serious marriage struggles, we recommend starting with ‘Save the Marriage System‘ by Lee Baucom.