There are many reasons for marriage breakdown. Here are 14 reasons your marriage might be facing problems…AND what to do about it.
This is a guest post by Carla Adams. Follow her on Twitter @CaCarlaadams. See full bio below.
For the majority of people, marriages can be difficult because it requires melding your life and aspirations with another person. It is often difficult to deal with marriage issues after children or other significant changes, and they can cause bitterness and feelings of disappointment.
Many things can go wrong in a marriage. The problem might ultimately lead to a divorce in some circumstances. In other situations, the issues are resolved if both partners are willing to try to fix them. Here are a few of the most typical marital issues that couples encounter.
15 Reasons For Marriage Breakdown
While every marriage is unique, there are common reasons couples face problems. Here are the top 14 we recognize in married couples.
1) Addiction Problem
People’s intimate relationships are meant to be their safe havens and their homes, a sanctuary. However, being in a relationship with a partner who abuses substances can result in an unhealthy relationship that is plagued with emotional abuse and stress.
For many people, being in a committed relationship with an addict can lead to confusion, negativity, mental turmoil, and even physical violence. Substance abuse destroys trust and weakens the link between partners, ultimately destroying the bond between a couple. Conflicts about parental obligations, neglect, or abuse may arise if there are children in the relationship. Domestic violence is also a result of addiction.
In Florida, there were 814 domestic violence cases reported in 2017 alone. The majority of these domestic violence incidents were brought on by one partner’s alcohol or drug misuse.
For residents of West Palm Beach, Florida, Palm Beach Group is an amazing facility that will help you or your partner get over any drinking or substance abuse problem so that you can have a healthy marriage eventually.
2) Financial Issues
Marital issues frequently stem from financial issues. Conflicting views on spending and saving practices can cause tension. A significant disparity in the spouses’ incomes can also cause issues. One individual may begin to feel jealous if their partner earns more money than they do.
They may also come to believe they have a greater “right” to the money and that they can use it in any way they choose. If you’re having financial difficulties, it can be a good idea to speak with a financial counselor who can help you come to an agreement on how to spend and save.
One of the most prevalent marital issues in couples is infidelity. According to the most recent data, compared to 10% of women, roughly 20% of men who were asked acknowledged having an extramarital affair. Cheating and having emotional ties are among them. One-night stands, physical infidelity, online connections, and both long-term and short-term encounters are further examples of adultery.
Infidelity can ensue and destroy trust between partners, and trust is the key to any healthy relationship. Consult a marriage counselor who can assist you in regaining your partners’ trust and motivate you to communicate more effectively and honestly.
We recommend Online-Therapy.com as a place to start, especially if you do not want to go to a therapist office.
4) Chores Distribution
It’s important to think carefully about how you allocate home responsibilities. There may be issues in the marriage if one or both partners believe that the workload is not balanced.
Sometimes, one partner feels they don’t need to contribute to household duties since they believe they put in long hours at work. Some partners think a stay-at-home parent should be in charge of everything at home, 24 hours a day.
It’s improbable that the individual at home spends their entire day “lounging around.” A shared allocation of labor throughout your time together is appropriate as long as everyone contributes their fair share of work daily.
5) Absence Of Intimacy
Intimacy in a marriage is crucial and one of the main reasons for marital issues. Although a lack of intimacy in a relationship doesn’t justify cheating, it might cause a bond to break down. The other person might feel unloved or undesired as a result.
If you no longer desire intimacy, think about speaking with your physician or finding a therapist who specializes in these problems.
Also Read: Saving A Low Sex Marriage
6) Fertility Problems
Many couples believe that having children will be a simple process when they are ready. Unfortunately, some people struggle when they want to have a family due to problems with their health, genetics, shifting priorities, and more. A baby may not always be conceived when or how you expect it.
While the conventional way of having children might not work out for you, there are still other options to consider. There may be options for adoption or in-vitro fertilization. No matter how much you want them, having kids isn’t always a possibility, which often causes couples to go through despair.
7) Communication Issues
One of the most difficult marital issues to resolve is a lack of communication. It requires work and awareness to learn how to interact with one another effectively.
It is no secret that communication is key in any relationship, but it is especially important in marriage. After all, marriage is a partnership between two people who are supposed to be equal partners in every way. Unfortunately, communication problems are one of the most common issues that couples face.
There are a number of reasons why communication problems can arise in marriage. It could be that the couple simply has different communication styles. For example, one partner may be more verbal and expressive while the other is more introverted and reserved. Or, it could be that the couple has different expectations when it comes to communication. One partner may expect to talk about everything while the other may prefer to keep some things private.
Whatever the reason, communication problems can lead to a host of other issues in marriage. If couples are not communicating, they are likely to grow apart. This can lead to feelings of loneliness, resentment, and even betrayal. When communication breaks down, it is also more difficult to resolve conflict. This can lead to arguments and even physical violence.
It is important for couples to find a way to communicate effectively with each other. This may require some trial and error, but it is worth it to invest the time and effort.
8) Differences In Values And Beliefs
There will undoubtedly be conflicts and differences in a marriage, but some of these are too significant to ignore, such asfundamental beliefs and values. One spouse might practice a particular religion, while the other one might practice a different faith.
The emotional chasm may result from a difference in values, among other typical marital issues. As you might have anticipated, this could result in serious issues if one spouse grows weary of attending various places of worship or engaging in other activities separately. These marital issues are common in intercultural unions.
These include the methods used to raise children and the lessons they learned as children, such as the meaning of right and wrong. Conflicts resulting from divergent values may only be resolved via compromise and communication. In situations where compromise is impossible, the best course of action is to show understanding and accept that there will be disagreement and respect each other’s space and rights.
Stress can be brought on in marriage by a wide range of circumstances, such as financial, familial, mental, and physical illnesses. The loss of a spouse’s job or a reduction in status can result in financial difficulties.
Children, issues with their relatives, or the family of the spouse can all cause stress in the home. Stress is caused by many different factors. Stress levels could rise as a result of how it is handled and controlled, thus making it vital to carefully manage your stressors.
Also Read: 16 Tips On How To Deal With Marriage Stress
10) Traumatic Event
Nobody handles trauma in the same manner twice. One partner may withdraw, while the other may seek solace from their spouse. You can see a rift form if one of you is unaware of what the other needs or is unwilling to provide it.
Sometimes, the demands and responsibilities become too much to handle, causing the relationship to deteriorate until it is completely over. Give yourself a break. Taking time to process your emotions will benefit your relationship.
Traumatic events, like the loss of a child, job transition, death of a parent or sibling, or a debilitating disease or accident, can throw your relationship into turmoil. It’s vital to set your intention to grow stronger through those events, rather than allow them to tear you apart.
Your mental health is important for a strong marriage connection.
11) Too Predictable
Although some people find comfort in their daily routine, if a relationship becomes too regular, other people may just feel bored. Some couples follow the same routine year after year without making any impulsive decisions.
Even though this might not be a problem if both partners favor the tried-and-true, boredom can cause issues in relationships where there isn’t much spontaneity.
Also Read: How To Be Spontaneous In A Relationship
12) Change In Appearance
As we age, we transform. Age, stress, weight gain, or loss are all factors that influence how we age. Even if you might wish for it, your spouse won’t remain the same in terms of appearance and behavior throughout time.
Your marriage can experience fights and disappointment if you hold someone to this unreasonable standard.
Since we all change (if you are 50, you do not look like you did in their 20’s), this should not be an issue in relationships. Unfortunately it is.
The solution is to build your relationship on something more than physical appearance and external values. Realize a deeper purpose for your marriage.
This will help you connect on a deeper level.
Another frequent issue that breaks down marriages is jealousy. If your partner is too possessive, being with them and around them might become difficult. To some level, as long as it is not excessive, jealousy is acceptable in any relationship.
Such people will be intrusive; they might ask who you are speaking to on the phone, why you are speaking to them, how you met them, how long you’ve known them, etc.
Being in a relationship with an overly jealous spouse can be stressful; this type of relationship will eventually fail. Self-reflection to adequately confront insecurity is the sole cure for extreme jealousy. If you find it difficult to do this on your own, you can seek the assistance of a psychologist.
14) Trying To Change Each Other
Couples who push their partner’s boundaries to influence their beliefs often experience this typical relationship issue. The degree of retaliation from the spouse who is being assaulted is typically subdued over time, although it does happen that such contempt for your partner’s boundaries could occur unintentionally.
Love your partner unconditionally, but also learn to respect their boundaries and refrain from pressuring them to alter them. If you have trouble embracing some aspects of your relationship, try to keep in mind that both of you fell in love with them for who they are. If you are negatively affected by your spouse’s certain acts, sit down with them and talk thoroughly.
15) In Law Problems
Problems with in-laws can be a huge factor in marriage problems. When one spouse doesn’t get along with their in-laws, it causes tension. Not just tension with the in-laws, but tension in your marriage.
Also Read: Mother In-Law Problems
Every relationship has its problems. If you take a healthy approach to overcome marriage issues that are upsetting you, any problem can be solved. You can ensure that you can successfully navigate through any challenges that could arise in your marriage by being respectful, understanding, and open to change.
When in doubt, get advice from a competent therapist or marriage counselor.
- 15 Reasons For Marriage Breakdown
- 1) Addiction Problem
- 2) Financial Issues
- 3) Infidelity
- 4) Chores Distribution
- 5) Absence Of Intimacy
- 6) Fertility Problems
- 7) Communication Issues
- 8) Differences In Values And Beliefs
- 9) Stress
- 10) Traumatic Event
- 11) Too Predictable
- 12) Change In Appearance
- 13) Jealousy
- 14) Trying To Change Each Other
- 15) In Law Problems
We have resources available to help you create the marriage you desire and deserve.
The Healthy Marriage Quiz
If you want specific help for your marriage, or you want to know your healthy marriage score, take the marriage quiz. You’ll get immediate access with suggestions on how to improve your relationship.
The Healthy Marriage Toolkit
Books, Courses, Programs, and Tools designed to help you create the marriage of your dreams.
Five Simple Steps Marriage Course
Marriage doesn’t have to be complicated. In this 5 part mini-series, you’ll discover practical steps to redesign your marriage.
Healthy Marriage Academy
Our courses will help you build a strong marriage. Each course is designed to meet a specific relationship need.
If you are having serious marriage struggles, we recommend starting with ‘Save the Marriage System‘ by Lee Baucom.