Give your spouse the royal treatment. Embrace positive communication skills to foster respect, understanding, and love, making your spouse feel truly valued and revered
Article At A Glance
- Power of Positive Words: Words have a profound impact on a spouse’s self-perception; using uplifting language can enhance their best qualities.
- Valuing Character: Emphasizing character traits over physical appearance in compliments ensures deeper, lasting connections.
- Avoid Criticism: Criticism doesn’t foster change; positive and supportive communication is more effective for a healthy relationship.
- Manage Tough Talks: Keep everyday conversations positive and schedule specific times for discussing serious issues, protecting the relationship’s overall mood.
How we talk to and about our spouse is important.
We are either calling forth a king or a fool.
If you want to have your spouse become the king or queen they were meant to be, you must use your words to call that person forth.
5 Ways To Use Positive Communication Skills To Speak Royalty Into Your Spouse
Here are five ways to speak good things about your partner so they become the king or queen they were meant to be.
1. Remember they are only human.
This is not an excuse for bad behavior, only a reminder not to expect perfection from your spouse.
Proper expectations can either make or break a relationship. Work to keep that in perspective.
2. Pick one thing to encourage them about.
You don’t have to brag on everything at once. I find that it is rewarding to pick an aspect of my wife’s character and personality and find ways to encourage her about that aspect.
This can actually be a fun activity you can privately do with your spouse. No need to let them in on the secret. Each day (or week) pick a characteristic about them and say things to encourage, inspire, and build them up in that area of their life.
3. Focus on character traits, not just physical appearance.
There are several reasons for his.
For one, physical beauty is fleeting. Our bodies change.
If all you notice and appreciate about your spouse is their appearance, you will be disappointed at some point.
There are certainly times to acknowledge their appearance; I’m simply suggesting it should not be the primary focus on your approval or praise.
At one point, Michelle put her oldest daughter (at the time she was very young) in a beauty pageant and she won. Michelle realized she didn’t want her daughters identity wrapped up in her looks, so she stopped doing pageants and focused on praising her for her good character, behavior, and attitude.
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I’m not suggesting every parent remove their children from beauty pageants; I’m am, however, recommending your praise be focused on character issues instead of physical beauty.
As Michelle says, ‘Physical beauty is what you inherit from genetics. Character is what you do with your life.’
Second, character is something we can control.
I can’t control circumstances, genetics, or external factors. But I can control my behavior and who I become as a person.
Finally, character is what matters most. In the long run, character is what makes or breaks your marriage.
For this reason alone, we should focus on this issue over all others.
4. Stop criticism in it’s tracks.
Criticism never results in positive change. Never.
You are mistaken if you think you can shame or criticize your spouse into what you want them to be. It’s impossible. They will only reflect more of what you ‘call forth’ in them.
5. Pick a time and place to have tough conversations, but keep your daily communication upbeat and positive.
Every couple has times when they need to hash things out. This is normal and even healthy. Things happen in relationships. Talking about those things keeps you from withdrawing and pulling away.
That said, it is important to have a designated time and place to discuss those issues. If you keep them in their proper place, they will not creep into your daily conversations and erode your relationship.
Here’s what you should do next…
I want to help you develop better communication skills so you can connect on a deeper level with your spouse.
That’s why we created the ‘Marriage Communication Bootcamp‘ where you will learn:
- The 4 types of communication; and why 3 of them will destroy your marriage if you do not practice the 4th.
- Why only 7% of communication is comprised of the words you speak; and how to identify the other 93%
- The 13 Skills (and how to develop them) every couple MUST have to make their marriage thrive.
- The 6 Pillars all effective communication is built on; and how to make sure they are a part of your marriage.
- A step-by-step process of moving a conversation to the point of intimacy and connection.
This course is designed to create connection, not just ‘talking skills.’ If you desire a deeper bond and stronger connection in your marriage, click the button below to go to the next page to get access to over 15 practical exercises that will help you communicate more effectively; AND feel more connected with your spouse.

Where To Find Help
We have resources available to help you create the marriage you desire and deserve.
The Healthy Marriage Quiz
If you want specific help for your marriage, or you want to know your healthy marriage score, take the marriage quiz. You’ll get immediate access with suggestions on how to improve your relationship.
Five Simple Steps Marriage Course
Marriage doesn’t have to be complicated. In this 5 part mini-series, you’ll discover practical steps to redesign your marriage.
Marriage Communication Bootcamp
Communication issues do not have to wreck your relationship. Our communication bootcamp will equip you to connect on a deeper level and cultivate skills to help you relate more effectively.
Take the Marriage Quiz and discover your marriage score and get suggestions on how to improve your relationship. You will also be sent the results of your quiz along with suggestions on how to create the marriage of your dreams. >> Take The Quiz Now <<
The Healthy Marriage Toolkit
Books, Courses, Programs, and Tools designed to help you create the marriage of your dreams.
Healthy Marriage Academy
Our courses will help you build a strong marriage. Each course is designed to meet a specific relationship need.
If you are having serious marriage struggles, we recommend starting with ‘Save the Marriage System‘ by Lee Baucom.