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The Negative Effects of Pornography on Marriage

January 6, 2020 By Joseph Nolan

man watching pornography on computer
Photo by Matthew T Rader on Unsplash

In This Article

  • How Pornography Effects Your Marriage
    • Porn Statistics from Covenant Eyes
    • Alarming Statistics on Pornography
  • Video #1: The Science of Pornography Addiction
    • Main Thoughts
  • Video #2: The Great Porn Experiment
    • Main Thoughts
  • Video #3: What Are The Effects of Porn on the Brain
    • Main Thoughts
  • Video #4: The Side Effects of Pornography
    • Main Thoughts
  • Video #5: How Porn Destroys Marriage
    • Main Thoughts
  • What Next?
    • Porn Statistics from Covenant Eyes
  • Wrapping it Up
    • Quick question:
    • Read More on this Topic:

How Pornography Effects Your Marriage

Years ago Nikolaas Tinbergen studied female birds and found that they could be duped into preferring fake eggs over their real eggs. Not only that, they chose fake mates over real birds. He did this with what he called super-normal stimulus.

In essence, he presented female birds with larger than life fake eggs. These eggs stimulated the reward circuit in the bird’s brain. They got excited seeing the larger eggs. Their tiny brains fired on all cylinders with excitement. This caused them to choose the bigger, prettier fake eggs (and mates) over their real ones.

What’s interesting about this study is that pornography produces the same results in humans – an over active dopamine rush. This stimulus produces ‘an unending sexual novelty that buzzes our reward system.”

Not only that, it fires up other emotions and stimuli as well.

You might think that this stimulation is a good thing. You’d be wrong.

Porn Stats Book Image

Porn Statistics from Covenant Eyes

Get your free details report on the alarming statistics about pornography. You’ll learn:

  • Alarming facts about the business of pornography
  • The impact of pornography on families
  • How porn effects your brain
  • Habits, demographics and perceptions about porn
  • The relationship between pornography and violence
  • The correlation to erectile dysfunction
  • And much more
Click here to get access

Alarming Statistics on Pornography

Gert Martin Hald, Carlin Yuen and Neil Malamuth found an alarming correlation between violence toward women and pornography.

In contrast to the earlier meta‐analysis, the current results showed an overall significant positive association between pornography use and attitudes supporting violence against women in non-experimental studies.

the negative effects of pornography on a marriage pinterest pin

Another study found that exposure to sexually explicit material led to greater dissatisfaction in relationships and sexual engagement.

Higher frequencies of SEM use were associated with less sexual and relationship satisfaction.

In this article we’ve compiled 5 videos that delve deep into the psychology of pornography and why it is damaging to your marriage.

Sexual communication is vital for a healthy marriage. When you learn how to connect and convey your desires and needs in a positive way, your relationship will feel more alive and you’ll experience a deeper connection with your spouse. Click the link below to read a groundbreaking report called Sexual Communication. Click Here.

Video #1: The Science of Pornography Addiction

This video is only 3 minutes but explains what happens to the brain when exposed long term to pornography.

Main Thoughts

With prolonged exposure your tolerance is increased resulting in addiction. This often leads to a loss of control and compulsive behavior that is similar to drug addiction.

Continued exposure can cause long term neuroplastic changes in the brain. It literally rewires your brain to get the same dopamine ‘fix’ over and over again.

A feedback loop is developed over time. Watching porn leads to a dopamine high which reinforces the behavior which leads to a deeper desire to see more. This loop becomes more and more powerful, requiring more and more exposure to the sexual fantasy.

The more you expose yourself to pornography the more tolerant you are of it; so your brain requires more and more to get satisfaction. You move from a desire to see pornography to require to see more of it.

Video #2: The Great Porn Experiment

This is TED talk by Gary Wilson. He has studied the effects of porn and reported his findings on his website, www.yourbrainonporn.com

Main Thoughts

Gary contrasts ‘porn sex’ with real sex in a fascinating way. Here’s his list:

Real Sex

  • Courtship
  • Touching
  • Being Touched
  • Smells
  • Pheromones
  • Emotional Connection
  • Interaction with a Person

Porn Sex

  • Alone
  • Voyeurism
  • Clicking
  • Searching
  • Multiple Tabs
  • Constant Novelty
  • Shock and Surprise

Wilson also makes a connection between arousal addiction and other problems such as ADHD, social anxiety, depression and OCD. The symptoms of porn addiction mimic these other issues.

His big statement is:

Internet porn is not sex. It’s as different from real sex as today’s video games are from checkers (the game).

He also explains WHY internet pornography is so addictive. I’ll spare you the technical explanations with this; it’s all about the ‘reward circuit’ where the brain gets too much dopamine. This can make porn addition more powerful than cocaine.

His studies found that the effects of heavy internet erotica were:

  • Escalation – the need for more graphic material
  • Difficulty Concentrating
  • Inability to Perform Sexually
  • Social Anxiety
  • Irritability
  • Obsessive-Compulsive Symptoms

Two more big takeaways from Gary’s TED Talk:

Constant novelty at a click can cause addiction.

And…

Internet porn is killing young men’s sexual performance.

There is a wave of new studies that show the connection between erectile dysfunction and pornography.

He quotes Dr. Carlos Foresta (head of the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine) who says:

It starts with lower reactions to porn sites. Then there is a general drop in libido, and in the end it becomes impossible to get an erection.”

He closes with a story about a young 20 something former porn addict. Begins at the 12 minute mark.

Video #3: What Are The Effects of Porn on the Brain

Dr. Valerie Voon from Cambridge University studies brain activity by using MRI imaging. She is a global authority on addiction.

Main Thoughts

A group of twenty men (ages 19-34) who considered themselves addicted to porn were studied.

Their brain scans were compared to a control of men who did not use porn.

When images were shown to both groups, the study revealed:

While both groups experienced brain stimulation, the compulsive users of porn had twice the activity in their ventral striatum (the reward center of the brain).

The same thing happens with people who are addicted to cocaine.

Their entire reward network is being hijacked by pornography.

Dr. Voon states:

Compulsive pornography users do have parallels with substance use disorders. And that’s on several levels.

Video #4: The Side Effects of Pornography

Project Alpha gives 5 negative side effects of pornography.

Main Thoughts

  • It Desensitizes you to the Real World
  • It Creates Anxiety
  • Demotivates You to Strive
  • Creates False Expectations
  • Only Offers a Temporary Escape (which makes you avoid problem solving)

My major takeaway is that anything that controls you strips you of your power.

Video #5: How Porn Destroys Marriage

Flextalk.org is an organization that helps couples talk about big issues. In this video, they discuss pornography’s effect on marriage.

I want to include this because it is given from a woman’s perspective. This is something that is often missing in discussions about pornography.

Main Thoughts

Pornography makes sex a one person thing. It’s all about self-gratification instead of desire to please your spouse.

It breaks intimacy. Sex should be two people who desire to gratify one another. Porn turns it into a selfish act of taking instead of giving.

Traci explains the female point of view:

Porn also damages the female self worth.

I’m thinking every time I’m having sex with you, who are you picturing? I’m certainly feeling like I’m not going to measure up to a porn star who they choose to have the perfect body and all that stuff…

So it damages my self worth and my view of of myself, and my ability to (feel like I’m) fulfilling you (my husband).

It creates more disconnection emotionally.

It’s bringing other people into your relationship and making your spouse feel like they are not good enough (to satisfy you fully).

ALSO READ: My Husband Watches Porn: 6 Things You Need To Do

What Next?

If you or your spouse is struggling in your marriage because of pornography, you need to realize that the addiction is real. The above videos demonstrate what happens in the human brain when viewing sexually explicit material.

But…

There is hope.

Our goal at The Healthy Marriage is to help you build the marriage of your dreams. To do this, we want to connect you with resources that address your issues.

Sexual communication is vital for a healthy marriage. When you learn how to connect and convey your desires and needs in a positive way, your relationship will feel more alive and you’ll experience a deeper connection with your spouse. Click the link below to read a groundbreaking report called Sexual Communication. Click Here.

In this last video you’ll learn about a program designed to help you conquer pornography and restore your marriage. It’s a faith-based, 12 week program that will give you encouragement and practical help in winning the battle.

The video explains how the program works.

Click here to find out more about No More Porn.

Porn Stats Book Image

Porn Statistics from Covenant Eyes

Get your free details report on the alarming statistics about pornography. You’ll learn:

  • Alarming facts about the business of pornography
  • The impact of pornography on families
  • How porn effects your brain
  • Habits, demographics and perceptions about porn
  • The relationship between pornography and violence
  • The correlation to erectile dysfunction
  • And much more
Click here to get access

Wrapping it Up

If want more to know more about the psychology behind pron addiction, check out YourBrainOnPorn.com

Quick question:

Has pornography affected your marriage in a negative way?

Let us know by leaving a comment below.

If this article has been helpful, click the social buttons below and share with your circle of influence.

Article Research

https://www.yourbrainonporn. com/miscellaneous-resources/start-here-evolution-has-not-prepared-your-brain-for-todays-porn/

https://www.flextalk. org/how-porn-destroys-marriage/

Read More on this Topic:

7 Tips For Solving Intimacy Issues In Marriage
Can A Marriage Survive Without Intimacy?
5 Signs Of Emotional Neglect In Marriage And The Impact It Has On Your Relationship
Sexual Frustration In A Relationship: Where To Start Understanding And Communicating Your Needs
Should I Buy My Wife A Mother's Day Gift? 7 Reasons You Should Say Yes!
7 Advantages and Disadvantages of Marrying Later In Life
Help! I'm Married But Lonely. What Can I Do?
5 Books On How To Be A Better Wife: A Husband's Wish List

Filed Under: Intimacy Tagged With: intimacy in marriage, negative effects of pornography, pornography, pron, sexual relationship, trust in marraige

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About Joseph Nolan

Joseph is the Editor and Creator of The Healthy Marriage site. A graduate of Samford University in Birmingham, AL with a major in Counseling and Biblical Studies. He is a certified facilitator with Prepare & Enrich.

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