Do you ever get the feeling that your partner comes home from work and does nothing? That they don’t show any interest in spending quality time with you or helping out around the house?
It can be disheartening, making us feel like our partners don’t care. But it doesn’t have to be this way! Here’s what you need to know…and what to do to get your husband engaged.

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In this article, we explore how to handle a situation where your husband comes home from work and just seems to want to relax. We look at why it might happen, what kind of effect it could have on your relationship, and how you can both find a balance between their needs for rest and relaxation, and yours for companionship.
You’ll learn practical strategies for talking through issues in a constructive way so that everyone gets the attention they need without creating conflict. With these tips in hand, you can create harmony in your marriage by learning to negotiate better together as a couple.
So if you’re looking for ways to make things easier when your husband comes home from work exhausted but seemingly uninterested in doing anything with you – read on!
Reasons Why He May Be Doing Nothing
It can be frustrating when your partner comes home from work and does nothing, especially when you are feeling overwhelmed with household chores. However, there may be a range of reasons why they aren’t contributing to the division of labor in the home. Let’s take a look at some possibilities that might explain why this is happening.
1) Emotional Exhaustion and Mental Fatigue
Working life takes its toll on us all and sometimes our partners come home needing time to decompress before engaging in any type of activity around the house – even if we don’t necessarily have time for them to do so!
It’s important for couples to remember that both members of the partnership should shoulder an equal amount of responsibility when it comes to their household duties; however, understanding and communicating about each other’s needs is key too.
2) Traditional Gender Roles
While culture attempts to blur the lines between genders, many couples struggle to find a balance between maintaining the balance of traditional roles and working together to make the household run smoothly.
Traditional roles are important. However, too often we define traditional roles in terms of what a woman should do and what a man should do. This is an inaccurate view (or at least incomplete view) of traditional roles between men and women.
Traditional roles should be more about the division of labor and responsibilities between partners. This means that both partners should be contributing to the household in some way, regardless of gender.
Finding a Balance
It’s important to remember that relationships are all about finding a balance between two people’s needs and wants. If your husband comes home from work and does nothing, it could be that he needs some time to relax and unwind before engaging in any kind of activity.
At the same time, it’s important to remember that you have needs too. If your husband is not helping out around the house, it can be difficult for you to manage all of the household chores on your own.
Marriage is not meant to be done alone. That should be obvious. It takes two to make a marriage. Click To TweetThe key is to find a balance between both of your needs. Balance is the key.
After all, marriage is not meant to be done alone. That should be obvious. It takes two to make a marriage.
3) Breach Of Comfort Zone
It’s possible that your partner doesn’t feel comfortable taking on certain tasks simply because they haven’t been trained or taught how to do them (or maybe they’ve just never done them before). This isn’t an excuse, but is a reason many men fail to engage in certain tasks.
Scheduling family activities and organizing finances requires different skills than physical labor like cleaning or yard work – but both types are essential for keeping a healthy balance within a relationship.
A recent study found that women generally organize family time and put in more work during that time (cooking, looking after children, etc.) than their male counterparts.
That said, creating open conversations around these topics will ultimately help ensure everyone’s emotional wellbeing while also providing an opportunity for growth and learning together as a couple.
Typical Responses To Husband’s Actions
Statistics show that couples who work full-time jobs face a unique challenge when it comes to dividing household tasks.
An article by Brookings (a non profit public policy organization) makes this point with the title: Women’s work boosts middle-class incomes but creates a family time squeeze that needs to be eased.
In fact, many American families are struggling with this issue: nearly 60% of women say they do more around the house.
When a husband comes home from his job and does nothing, there can be several typical responses from the wife.
1) Feeling Overwhelmed
First, she may feel overwhelmed by all of the extra responsibilities she has to take on at home. She might express her frustration through sarcastic comments or complaints about how he spends most of his time relaxing rather than helping out. This could lead to arguments if left unresolved for too long.
2) Taking On More and More
Another response is she may try to take on even more of the household tasks without asking for help first. Whether it’s doing laundry late into the night or cooking dinner after already having put in a full day’s work, her exhaustion will likely become apparent quickly unless some sort of compromise is reached between both partners.
3) Enter ‘Try Harder’ Mode
She may turn to outside sources such as books and articles online for advice on how best to handle these situations within their family life. I call this the ‘try harder’ mode. It usually happens when one partner is the one seeking to make things better while the other doesn’t seem to invest or try.
So what’s the solution? There is no easy answer, but the key is express your concerns and work toward a solution.
In short, communicating effectively is key when it comes to reaching an understanding between spouses regarding household tasks — especially after coming home from a full-time job.
It requires clear communication among both individuals so that each understands where they stand in terms of responsibilities and expectations within their relationship dynamic.
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Recognizing Signs Of Stress Or Burnout
Stress and burnout can be a silent killer of relationships. When one partner comes home from work and does nothing, it’s important to recognize the signs of distress that may indicate their mental health is in need of attention.
1) Lack of Motivation
The first sign of stress is often a lack of energy or motivation. If your partner is coming home from work and not engaging in activities they normally enjoy, this could be a sign of burnout. They may also be more irritable, withdrawn, or have difficulty sleeping.
2) Inability to Focus
Another sign of stress is an inability to focus on tasks or conversations. If your partner is having trouble concentrating on the task at hand or engaging in meaningful conversations with you, this could be a sign that they are overwhelmed and need help managing their stress levels.
3) Emotional Swings
Finally, if your partner is having difficulty managing their emotions, this could be a sign of burnout. If they are easily frustrated or overwhelmed by seemingly small tasks, this could be an indication that they need help managing their stress levels.
It’s important to recognize the signs of stress and burnout in order to provide your partner with the support they need. Talk to them about what you’re noticing and offer to help them find ways to manage their stress. This could include taking time off work, engaging in activities they enjoy, or seeking professional help.
Taking the time to recognize and address the signs of stress can help keep your relationship strong and healthy.
Signs of burnout in a spouse can manifest in many forms ranging from increased irritability or reduced motivation to accomplish anything around the house to changes in communication style or even complete withdrawal from any kind of emotional connection.
A lack of effort put forward towards maintaining a healthy sex life or romantic relationship can often be indicative that something else has taken precedence. In other words, when they feel overwhelmed internally, it affects every other area of life.
Impact Of Husband’s Inactivity On The Marriage
When one partner doesn’t contribute to the relationship by helping with daily ‘stuff’ it takes a toll on the marriage.
For many couples, this passive lack of engagement in household chores can be very difficult to handle. The imbalance in responsibility creates feelings of resentment and frustration. This most often leads to even bigger issues if not addressed.
The imbalance in responsibility creates feelings of resentment and frustration. This most often leads to even bigger issues if not addressed. Click To TweetHere’s how your partner’s lack of action may be impacting your relationship:
1) Time
Firstly, there’s the time factor. Most likely one person is left with doing a greater proportion of the workload. This might mean having less free time for leisure or hobbies due to extra responsibilities like laundry or dishes piling up.
2) Money
Secondly, there may also be financial implications when only one person takes care of all the bills and admin tasks that come along with running a household.
3) Emotional Health
Lastly, the unequal distribution of labor impacts both partners’ emotional health; feeling taken for granted leads to decreased satisfaction within the relationship as well as individual self-confidence levels plummeting.
The goal should be to find ways to create balance between spouses so that neither partner feels overburdened by their load.
Having conversations about expectations and taking into account what works best for both parties is essential in forming healthy habits together such as divvying up cleaning duties or working together to make the task more managable.
For example, my wife and I often work together on meal prep. She calls me the ‘chopper’ because I’m good at that aspect of cooking. I can’t season dishes the way she can, but when I help with the other tasks it takes pressure off and actually works to create a stronger bond between us.
Benefits Of Sharing Household Responsibilities
According to a study conducted by Brian Ogolsky and his team, couples who both agree that housework should be divided equally reported being more content than couples in disagreement over equity.
Sharing household responsibilities is an essential part of a healthy relationship. It’s the perfect way to make sure that both partners are doing their fair share and feeling appreciated for all they do. To understand why this matters, let’s take a look at some of the benefits it brings.
1) Increases Connection
First off, when couples share chores, it helps them stay connected by providing chances to work together towards common goals. As the old saying goes, “many hands make light work” – so teaming up on tasks can be a great way to bond as a couple while getting stuff done in less time! Plus, one partner won’t feel like they’re taking on more than their fair share of responsibility.
2) Enhances Communication
Next, sharing household duties also promotes better communication between couples. People often tend to put up walls or avoid talking about difficult issues due to fear of conflict or misunderstanding; however being able to talk openly about needs and expectations around housework provides a safe space where conversations become easier over time.
3) Reduces Stress
Finally, divvying up responsibilities reduces stress levels and leads to healthier relationships overall. After all, if everyone has enough free-time for themselves then no one will feel overwhelmed with too much workload either at home or outside of it.
This means that each person can focus on enjoying quality moments with their partner without having anything hanging over their heads.
A few simple steps can help:
- Setting aside regular family meetings
- Making lists
- Using technology tools
- Creating rewards systems
Finding creative solutions have been proven time and time again to provide tangible results like improved understanding, stronger connection &and peace of mind.
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Tips To Recharge After Work
In order to make sure one partner doesn’t shoulder all the workload after hours, create a solution that allows you both to recharge before you tackle other projects.
This doesn’t have to be a long, drawn out process; just enough to recharge so you can contribute.
One pastor friend worked out a solution with his wife. He gets 20 minutes to unwind and detox from his hectic day before taking his turn with the kids and household chores. It works for them becuase they both see the value.
He is much more engaged if he has his time to unclutter his mind. This helps them have a happy marriage.
While we may feel overwhelmed by the seemingly endless amount of responsibilities that come with everyday life, carving out just a few moments for ourselves can be incredibly beneficial in helping us stay motivated and energized.
Below are three ‘big keys’ to make this work.
1) Set Healthy Boundaries
Establishing healthy boundaries between work and home life can be tricky. It’s easy to let the stress of the job seep into our relationships, but it is important to make sure that we aren’t taking out all of our frustrations on those closest to us. Achieving a comfortable balance between both worlds isn’t always simple—but it’s worth striving for!
Sometimes, setting limits may feel like an uncomfortable task; after all, when you’ve just had a long day at work and are feeling exhausted, no one likes having to say “no” or voice their own needs.
However, establishing these guidelines helps create stability in both your professional and personal life. When things get overwhelming (and they will!), having clear expectations can help maintain harmony in your relationship with your partner.
2) Make Quality Time Together A Priority
The hustle and bustle of life can be overwhelming for many, especially when it comes to couples. Work demands are high, stress is mounting,and finding time for quality moments together can be a challenge. Still, prioritizing those special times with your partner should never take a backseat—it’s the key ingredient that keeps relationships alive.
This requires intentional effort from both partners. It could mean going on long walks in nature or just snuggling up on the couch while watching movies with popcorn. Whatever you decide to do, make sure it resonates with both of you as individuals and as a couple. That way, no one feels left out or ignored during these precious moments spent together.
Quality time matters because it allows us to connect deeply without any distractions getting in the way.
We get to know each other at an even deeper level which helps us understand our feelings better and builds trust along the way. And although there may not be enough hours in the day to attend every need we have in life, carving out some time specifically devoted to strengthening our relationship will help keep things balanced in our lives and lead to greater fulfillment down the road.
These shared experiences strengthen bonds between two people that cannot be broken by anything else; they become lifelong memories that we can look back upon whenever needed for comfort or solace through troubled times. So let’s cherish these moments now—for tomorrow isn’t guaranteed!
3) Practicing Self-Care
It can often be difficult to find the time or energy to reconnect intimately with your partner after a long day of work. But we must remember that taking care of ourselves is just as important as maintaining our relationships.
Practicing self-care and showing compassion for yourself can help you build a strong foundation from which to connect more deeply with those around you.
Self-care doesn’t have to require big changes or take up hours of your already precious free time; it could simply involve carving out 10 minutes in the morning for some ‘me time.’
Allowing yourself these little moments throughout the week can make all the difference when it comes to feeling energized and connected – both within yourself and with those around you.
Reconnecting with one another requires effort, patience, vulnerability…and plenty of self-care! Making sure you look after yourself first helps cultivate true connection in any relationship – whether romantic or platonic – leaving room for genuine understanding and growth together into something even stronger than before.
The Jigsaw Puzzle
It’s clear that when your husband comes home from work and seems to do nothing, it can be concerning. But if you take a step back, look for signs of stress or burnout, and recognize the impact his actions have on your marriage, then you will start to gain clarity in understanding why he may be behaving this way.
The key is to identify the source of stress and address it together as a couple. This could include finding ways to reconnect intimately by engaging in meaningful conversations, spending quality time together, and practicing self-care & compassion.
If attempts at resolving conflicts remain unresolved or seem too difficult alone, there are programs that can help you navigate those tough issues. You can start here and here.
Like a jigsaw puzzle coming together piece by piece, addressing these issues requires patience and effort – but it’s worth it!
At the end of the day, no matter what challenges arise in life, every small step you take toward improving communication and connection within your relationship, you will be moving in the right direction.
We have resources available to help you create the marriage you desire and deserve.
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If you are having serious marriage struggles, we recommend starting with ‘Save the Marriage System‘ by Lee Baucom.