Ever heard of the IKEA Effect?

It’s a term created by a couple of guys in 2012 named after the self-assembly furniture from IKEA.

The theory states:

We value products more highly if we have an investment in creating them.

An example will help drive home the idea (then I have a marriage lesson for you)…

In the 1950’s Betty Crocker started making instant cake mixes.

They failed. Miserably.

The reason? They were too easy to make. I’ll explain why this matters in a minute.

So…

The company added a step people had to take to make the ‘instant’ cake. The recipe called for people to add one fresh egg.

This one step made their ‘instant cake’ idea a hit.

Why? It increased the value of the person making the cake. In other words, housewives felt more important because they had to do something. They were needed for the process to work.

This is called effort justification. The more effort you put into something, the more value you attach to it. And the more you appreciate it.

Jesus put it this way:

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Matthew 6:21

Whatever you invest your time, money, and energy in, you love, appreciate, and value.

If we do not feel valued, we lose interest.

Another example: HelloFresh

The famous meal kit company went from $1.2B revenue in 2018 to a whopping 7.5B revenue in 2023. (according to Jesse Grillo)

Their secret? Hello Fresh sends you the ingredients and recipe of the meal in the kit—and you do the rest. For the price of a regular, prepared, and delivered meal.

What does this have to do with marriage?

Just like assembling IKEA furniture or adding an egg to a cake mix, investing effort in a relationship makes it more valuable. By working on your marriage, you build a stronger connection and appreciation for each other. Effort and involvement are key to maintaining interest and value in your relationship.

This is one reason we have exercises in our communication course. It not only helps you practice the principle that is being taught, it increases your effort justification.

It makes you love deeper, bond closer, and appreciate your spouse more.

4 Ways To Apply The IKEA Effect To Your Marriage

Here are five simple things you can do to tap into the IKEA Effect and use effort justification to enhance your marriage.

1. Work Together

I’m not talking about joining the same company. Just do shared projects together.

It can be something around the house (my wife and I like to garden and fish). Or you can volunteer to serve in your church or community together.

Quick example.

My wife has a widow friend who has a big farm. Her chicken coup needs some work, so we took an afternoon to find out what needs to be done for repairs. We will work together to rebuild the part that needs work.

Projects like this help you bond. These shared efforts create a sense of teamwork and achievement, enhancing the value of the relationship.

2. Create Rituals

Rituals are important. They ground us by giving us anchors to hold on to.

They personalize a common event to make it uniquely yours.

For example, each week we try to go see my wife’s parents and our grandkids. Mostly it’s on Saturdays. We make a day of it.

We go to ballgames, run a few errands, see her parents…

Then, we stop at one of our favorite restaurants and eat. It’s a routine. A ritual.

It’s simple, but it anchors us. It is something (the day with family) we look forward to and we cap it off with a favorite meal.

Whether it’s a weekly date night or a special way of celebrating anniversaries, these personal touches can deepen your connection.

3. Continue To Invest In Your Relationship

Remember, what you invest in, grows.

And, your heart follows your time, energy, and money.

In other words, when you invest in your marriage, you increase it’s value. Effort justification kicks in.

How do you invest in your marriage?

It doesn’t have to be grandiose. Small investments bring big payoffs.

Read a book together and discuss it.

Take a course to improve an area of your life.

Get a marriage or relationship coach.

The goal is to put effort into your relationship so you will appreciate it more.

4. Spend Time Together

I hear people talk a lot about quality time. That’s important. But don’t forget quantity time.

It’s not always about the quality (what you do when you are together); it’s about the fact of being together.

Fact is, we grow close to those we are with the most. This is why coworkers bond, church small grounds bond, and ball teams become friends. It’s time together that makes the difference.

Sure, have quality time. Do important things together. But don’t underestimate the power of just spending time – minutes, hours, and days – together. Time matters. Not just the activity you do in the time.

Here’s what you should do next…

I want to help you develop better communication skills so you can connect on a deeper level with your spouse.

That’s why we created the ‘Marriage Communication Bootcamp‘ where you will learn:

• The 4 types of communication; and why 3 of them will destroy your marriage if you do not practice the 4th.
• Why only 7% of communication is comprised of the words you speak; and how to identify the other 93%
• The 13 Skills (and how to develop them) every couple MUST have to make their marriage thrive.
• The 6 Pillars all effective communication is built on; and how to make sure they are a part of your marriage.
• A step-by-step process of moving a conversation to the point of intimacy and connection.

This course is designed to create connection, not just ‘talking skills.’ If you desire a deeper bond and stronger connection in your marriage, click the button below to go to the next page to get access to over 15 practical exercises that will help you communicate more effectively; AND feel more connected with your spouse.

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