The Healthy Marriages offers nine (9) tips on how to win a man’s heart. If you are looking for the keys to your husband’s heart, try these secrets to unlock his passion and love.
I am convinced that the person who is willing to wait and win the heart of a man can do it by making sure she is pursuing the right one. Healthy marriages start out and are sustained because a wise woman held the key to unlock a man’s heart.
We often see married people wanting to be single and single people wanting to be married.
In the most recent Singles In America study from the people at Match Group found that 63 percent of Millennials “want to find romantic love,” 70 percent of Gen Z individuals are “motivated to find a long-term companion,” and “only 11 percent of Gen Z and Millennials date casually.”
Those are shocking statistics. We can get jaded about love. Sometimes, it’s because we see a plastic fairytale version through the media. But this isn’t reality. There are, however, secrets that unlock the door to a man’s heart.
9 Secrets on How To Win A Man’s Heart
Here are 9 secrets that unlock the door to your husbands heart. We believe these ‘secrets’ are universal principles that fuel every healthy relationship.
Secret #1: Be Authentic and Genuine.
Know who you are and be confident. This is attractive to your husband. It assures him because He knows your identity won’t come from him. Look your best. Take care of yourself. Spirit, soul and body.
A well-rounded woman takes care of all parts of her life so she is well-rounded and healthy. Hopefully, your husband isn’t shallow. External beauty is a part, but it’s fleeting at times.
This isn’t about looking like a supermodel, it’s about bringing your best self into your marriage. Confident women draw a man’s heart. He’s attracted to your internal and external beauty. Be authentic.
Embrace your quirkiness, it’s probably why He fell in love with you from the beginning. The woman He wants has values. She holds fast to them and won’t surrender them for anyone.
He loves that she has these convictions and a person doesn’t move her off of them. This is attractive to him. He admires that she is genuine and real.
Secret #2: Respect and Honor Who He Is
He recognizes and appreciates the girl who fully embraces her femininity. She sees it as a strength and so does He.
She shows respect to her husband and admires what He does and the way He carries himself.
She notices the way He treats people and compliments him on these qualities.
His face lights up because He didn’t even recognize his quiet confidence and kindness towards people was something she honored and respected about him.
He in turn, responds with an open heart because she is noticing little things about him. She respects how patient He is in difficult situations with people.
She recognizes his work is important to him and acknowledges it to him. She admires what motivates him to do what He does. She is genuinely interested in his work.
Your acknowledgment and respect about who He is and how He responds towards people makes him feel honored
Secret #3: Support and Encourage Him
Find out what He loves and what He is into and support him in it. Go with him to the charity thing he loves and help him do it.
Encourage him to live his dream and fully enjoy his life. Point out the talents you see He has.
Notice if something bothered him in a work situation and speak words that are uplifting and breathe life into his soul. Help him see His strengths.
Sandwich your concerns or things that trouble you in between the things you notice He does well.
Secret #4: Let Yourself Be Vulnerable
Allow him in. Make room in your heart and allow him to see something that frightens you or even hurt you in your past. This builds intimacy and trust. It’s daring.
You’re allowing him to see you’ve given him access to your heart even as you are pursuing him. This is a sacred place and can be turned into a shared space as you both learn vulnerable things about each other.
More bonding starts happening as you trust each other enough to talk about the things you’re scared of and the things that hurt you.
Secret #5: Stay Connected To His Family
If He comes from a healthy family. It could be key for him. Family matters. Go to family functions. Don’t avoid his family. Try to be engaging even if it’s awkward.
Be warm and considerate towards them when you are with the family. Not fake, but genuinely be engaging and be interested in their lives. For goodness sake, lose your phone.
Nothing is a turn off like someone selfishly scrolling through Instagram looking bored because you’re with someone’s family. That will not win his heart or your extended family.
If you have ‘in-law’ problems, read our article on four areas to get in order when dealing with in-laws.
Secret #6: Control Your Emotions In A Mature Way
Nobody likes drama. Your spouse will get burned out if you are drama. It takes a lot of emotional energy to deal with drama. A wise man will sniff it out and it will not win his heart if you can not control your emotions.
You can have emotions but they don’t have you. As adults, we can walk in self-control, which is another sign of confidence. The person who can walk in self-control usually can control all aspects of their lives.
He will want to know if He is getting the same person on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. He knows you have hormones and gives grace but He is not gonna hang around the house much if you’re a basketcase.
Don’t become a tough love for your spouse because you’re moody and difficult. Ladies control their emotions, girls are dictated by them. Big difference. He wants his wife to be a Lady, not a little girl.
Secret #7: Be A Kind-Hearted Girl
Are you a giver? Do you have a big heart? Do you live unselfishly and tend to consider others often? Are you quick to forgive petty offenses or do you tend to get offended easily over petty things?
Kind communication is clear. Manipulation can happen when you aren’t clear. Say what you need and want. He will be attracted to your honesty.
If he sees your gentleness and mercy towards other people He will be attracted to your tenderness. Kindness is sexually attractive to a man and a woman.
Kind-hearted wives are honest about things that affect your marriage. They don’t harbor bitterness or hold offenses; they win his heart by communicating and clarifying what they need and desire.
They don’t make him guess. They don’t hold things against their husband. They win his heart by being kind, gentle and loving.
Secret #8: Genuinely Serve Him
I know. I went old school huh? But is it? Who doesn’t love the smell of home cooking? Every man on the planet. Doing small things are actually big things. Take you out of the middle. It’s not about you, it’s about putting him in the middle and loving him well.
Considerate things done specifically for him carry big dividends. He feels genuine care and love through every act of service you do to touch his heart. Do it with a pure heart and you will have a wide opening to his heart. Find out his love language.
Target the primary way He feels loved and be intentional about doing it. Gary Chapman wrote a great book called, The Five Love languages. (Affiliate Link) It’s saved thousands of marriages by helping people understand the way they feel loved, and how to love their spouse.
Secret #9: Have a Purpose of Your Own
There is nothing worse than a man dealing with a bored wife who looks to him for the ultimate satisfaction in every part of her life. She needs a career. A group of friends. A hobby. He has a career and a vision.
He hopes you have something too, so He can focus on his work and doesn’t feel the pressure to “make you happy.”
He wants to make you happy but if you don’t have a purpose or something to occupy your time, you will annoy him.
Go back to school.. Take what you do seriously. Set goals. He doesn’t want you to be codependent.
He wants to see you pursue something you dream about also. He’s attracted to your dream because He also is motivated by his.
Most, but not all husbands are attracted to women who are motivated by something bigger than themselves. Wives that serve a higher calling are busy and their lives are full with purpose or work. They don’t have time to whine to their husbands.
These aren’t the only secrets there are to winning a man’s heart but they are some things that will lead you in that direction. Being mindful of them will not only win his heart but will keep it open in your relationship.
Related Questions On Winning Your Husband’s Heart
These are questions readers ask about how to get their husbands to engage more in the relationship.
What Do You Say To A Man To Win His Heart?
I think the best way to win a man’s heart is by being yourself. You should show that you are the same person and that you can be trusted.
I would tell a woman not to try too hard with her love life. This creates pressure, and pressure is not the best way to win someone’s heart it is the best way to lose it.
Be yourself a lot of the time. People don’t like people who try too hard, and if you are trying too much, they will not respect you for that.
I think that it is a good idea for a woman to be honest. Honesty is always the place where trust starts and if they don’t believe you, they will not trust you enough. It’s also important to show your spouse he can trust you with his feelings and thoughts and that he can be himself around you as well. If he has nothing to hide from you, he will be at ease.
How To Win A Man’s Heart Back After You Have Hurt Him?
These nine secrets (tips) are a good place to start. But it always comes down to trust and respect.
When there is trust and respect our heart is open. If you desire to regain trust, the best place to start is to have an honest and open conversation about what happened that broke the trust in your relationship.
The key is to listen. It is easy to get defensive, especially when we feel misunderstood. Remember, the goal in communication is to understand and be understood. What we say may not be what is heard. This is why it is important to make sure you connect and hear what your husband is saying.
This is especially important if you have hurt him and want to rebuild trust in your marriage.
Is It True That A Broken Heart Can Never Love Again?
No. In one sense, we have all experienced a broken heart. Rejection, hurt, and disappointment are part of life. That doesn’t mean we should close our hearts and never love again.
While it is true that some people never recover from a broken heart, it is human nature to crave and desire love. This empowers us to heal and open our hearts to others.
Most people who never open their hearts again are stuck. They have allowed their pain to define their life and keep them from experiencing love again.Since it is human nature to want love, we should work to move past our hurts so we can open our hearts and be loved again. Click To Tweet
Since it is human nature to want love, we should work to move past our hurts so we can open our hearts and be loved again.
Remember, when you close your heart to keep from getting hurt, you are also closing out others who could (and would) love you and help you heal.
Related: The Forgiveness Series
Final Thoughts on How To Win A Man’s Heart
One of the things that can help you have a long-term relationship that is healthy, is to recognize that everyone wants to feel chosen and special. Successful couples are those who find ways to win their spouse’s heart by letting them know how valued they are.
In this article, we explored nine tips (secrets) that every woman should know on how to win their husband’s heart.
- 9 Secrets on How To Win A Man’s Heart
- Secret #1: Be authentic and genuine.
- Secret #2: Respect and Honor Who He Is
- Secret #3: Support and Encourage Him
- Secret #4: Let Yourself Be Vulnerable
- Secret #5: Stay Connected To His Family
- Secret #6: Control Your Emotions In A Mature Way
- Secret #7: Be A Kind-Hearted Girl
- Secret #8: Genuinely Serve Him
- Secret #9: Have a Purpose of Your Own
We have resources available to help you create the marriage you desire and deserve.
The Healthy Marriage Quiz
If you want specific help for your marriage, or you want to know your healthy marriage score, take the marriage quiz. You’ll get immediate access with suggestions on how to improve your relationship.
The Healthy Marriage Toolkit
Books, Courses, Programs, and Tools designed to help you create the marriage of your dreams.
Five Simple Steps Marriage Course
Marriage doesn’t have to be complicated. In this 5 part mini-series, you’ll discover practical steps to redesign your marriage.
Healthy Marriage Academy
Our courses will help you build a strong marriage. Each course is designed to meet a specific relationship need.
If you are having serious marriage struggles, we recommend starting with ‘Save the Marriage System‘ by Lee Baucom.