Most men have a pretty good understanding of what respect is, but many guys don’t know how to respect their wives. Don’t overlook the respect you owe spouse. These 11 tips will help.
First and foremost, respect is an act of the mind. It is honoring the other person’s thoughts, feelings, and opinions without any argument.
Husbands, do you respect your wife? If she is your wife and your other half, then you should! But what does it mean to respect her? It means you must value how you treat her. In order for her to value you, you must value yourself. If you value yourself and your wife, you will show her respect.
Speaking well about her and to her will make her feel loved and respected. Women want to feel understood and loved but like their husbands, they also want to feel respected.
They aren’t mutually exclusive. You can discover these 11 tips to show you what will make your wife feel respected by you.
1. Listen to Her
Your ear is connected to her heart. Some days her words are wild and lots of them, other days they are a few and a whisper.
What she wants most is for them to land with you and for you to hold them close because they are part of her.
You might say, that’s a little dramatic Michelle. But is it? For me. Words matter because I write. Women that feel heard feel known.
A known woman is deeply connected to her husband and values him.
When you hear her, her heart opens wide because she feels respected and loved by you. If you care about her words she knows it and trusts you.
This creates more trust and openness in your relationship.
2. Work Hard and Provide for Your Family
A hard working man is respectable. He wants to provide for His family. He doesn’t have to bear the weight of poverty because He is lazy.
A lazy person can always find excuses to be idle. A woman’s security is tied to financial security.
Like a man is wired visually a woman is wired for security. Most wives want security not stuff and fluff. To be able to pay their bills, live comfortably and have savings.
When she feels threatened she gets scared. She feels insecure for the entire family. It’s embarrassing for a wife when she knows her husband doesn’t want to work hard.
She wants to respect him but she struggles.
She wants to help but she senses that if she does more He won’t make an effort. She fears He will depend on her or worse blow money irresponsibly.
The longer it goes on without him having regular employment the more nervous she gets. He might be using his ailment or anything to keep him from working.
These may just be his excuses to cover up his laziness. He might have a legitimate health condition and He can’t work and is on disability.
You can tell the difference. Sickness can’t be helped but laziness and excuses can.
3. Don’t Yell or Raise Your Voice at Her
Talking down to her or yelling at her will wound her and shut her down. The disrespect you show her will define you, not her.
She will internalize it and either question herself or resent you. You will break her and dislike yourself even more.
Unresolved anger. Issues of Unforgiveness and childhood issues that are unresolved contribute to a lot of abuse in marriages.
The Bible says that a man who loves his wife loves himself. Show me a wife who feels loved and respected and her husband will love himself and have a strong sense of who He is.
4. Make Her Feel Secure
Be a man of your word. Reaffirm you love her and only her. When she shares a fear with you, acknowledge it.
Strive to fix it if it is connected to something you are doing that is causing insecurity. It might be a past thing in her former life that gets triggered. Try not to personalize it and get offended.
She might have some fear about being abandoned. It haunts her. Promises matter to her. Keeping your word matters to her.
Every time you follow through on something she respects you more. The more secure your wife feels with you the more respected she feels.
5. Don’t lie or Be Deceitful
Trust is the foundation for a good marriage. When someone isn’t transparent and has a history of being dishonest you can’t trust them.
Your wife won’t respect you if you are deceitful. She won’t feel respected by you if you are living deceitfully.
Lies always come out. A lie isn’t the same as a habitual liar. Telling a lie is always wrong but true repentance and remorse will change your heart.
An honest, true heart will make you never want to be known for bad character or sinning against your spouse.
A deceitful person keeps it covered but an honest person is transparent, making you feel respected.
You can’t do business with a dishonest person and you can’t stay in a relationship with one.
6. Don’t Make Big Decisions Without Her
In our house we have the $100 rule. Anything spent over that we have a conversation about.
It’s a discussion. Because we have the same money values we have never had issues around money.
No power struggles because we honor each other and we have the same goals and values.
I knew a young woman who was married to a man who decided it was fine to buy a new Lexus after she expressed her feelings because they couldn’t afford it.
They had a new baby and they were already struggling financially and she was concerned about the future.
He disregarded her feelings and drove up to a ballpark with the car to show his friends and even joked about doing whatever He wanted.
She was embarrassed in front of all her friends. This contributed to even more disrespect that was already happening. Disregard and disrespect go hand in hand.
7. See Her Need For Time Alone or With Friends
Pay attention to her stress level. Does she need to decompress? Does she need a girlfriend night to take her mind off work, kids and connect with a friend.
She might need some spa time to relax. A pedi or a massage. This will get you lots of respect if you buy it for her and send her off to relax.
She might need to go away to a hotel overnight to think, journal, rest, cry about things that are hard for her.
Not all women want a ladies retreat or girlfriend get-away with friends. Some women need alone time. Don’t personalize it. It’s what she needs, not a sign of rejection towards you as her husband.
8. Take Advice from Her
When she shares insight with you or things she has prayed about, listen to her and pray about them also.
If you dismiss her advice or stop listening to her opinions about things, she will think her words don’t carry weight with you. After a while she will not share them.
She doesn’t need you to take every piece of advice or all of her opinions, but acknowledge she has some valid ideas.
Even shelve them together and pray for direction for them. In doing this, she will feel heard and respected.
9. Support The Dreams She Has
If you see her dream as a hobby instead of a purpose or calling she will feel like you don’t value her work.
She will want your words of encouragement and support to do what is in her heart. If you minimize what she does but maximize what you do she will feel shut down and discouraged.If you see her dream as a hobby instead of a purpose or calling she will feel like you don't value her work. Click To Tweet
Help her accomplish or guide her into how she can do what it is she wants to do. Give her sound wisdom without being the “voice of reason” when she is in the creative process.
If she is the dreaming type, give her time to flesh out what she wants it to look like and bring structure to it. She will feel respected because she has your support.
10. Don’t Criticize Her Or Make Fun Of Her To Other People
The comedian and the preacher often have this one thing in common. They have a captivated audience and their career is communicating from a stage.
I always cringe when I hear someone use their wife as the perfect material for their joke. I feel embarrassed for her. When I see their wives smile or sit there graciously. I hurt for her.
She has now become the butt of all the jokes so He can get an applause or laugh. It’s insensitive and hurtful.
She may not say a word but it hurts. You’d be better off praising your wife about anything rather than making yourself look good because she looks silly or ignorant.
Others may laugh but she may be humiliated.
Making negative comments about her cooking or comparing her cooking to someone else’s will make her feel insecure and have no confidence.
Not only will she not want to cook for you but it will only add more internal self doubt about herself.
Brag about her cooking or about how well she does something and she will feel respected by you.
John Gottman identifies criticism as one of the 4 major issues that destroy a marriage.
Also Read: 11 Bad Habits No One Talks About
11. Don’t Gawk Or Flirt With Other Women
Rubbernecking when a pretty lady walks by is insulting. The woman you are gawking at notices it and ignores it but the woman you vowed to lay your life down for is hurt.
Men are wired visually by God. Their eyes can be a temptation.
Lust can be a struggle. There is no sin in noticing a pretty lady. In fact, my husband laughs because I point out beautiful women to him all the time.
I can do this because I know I have his attention and affection. I know his heart and trust him. He makes me feel beautiful. Even on my worst days.
I’m not talking about noticing or looking at a beautiful lady. You’d have to poke your eyes out. I’m talking about following them with your eyes.
Looking for longer than what is appropriate and dishonoring your wife or the woman walking in front of you.If you tend to be a flirt. Deal with your insatiable need for attention or the deep rooted insecurity that makes you need the attention from women. Click To Tweet
If you tend to be a flirt. Deal with your insatiable need for attention or the deep rooted insecurity that makes you need the attention from women.
Deal with the ego that lies to you and says, “They are into you” “They think you’re smart, successful or powerful”.
Your wife knows. Rarely, is a woman caught completely off guard if her husband is dealing with lust. She knows. She prays for you.
She doesn’t want to embarrass you but she loses respect for you if it keeps happening. She feels betrayed in her heart, even if you didn’t have an extramarital affair.
She internalizes it and wonders if something is wrong with her. She feels rejected and set aside.
She wants to know if it’s her you want and adore. Be fully hers with your eyes, affection and your heart and she will respect you.
Women are complex. I know we seem like we have 2,436 moving parts, especially when you add in hormones. Underneath all those deep emotions of crazy and calm in a woman’s heart is the desire for you to pursue her heart.
The wires that connect in our brain and heart can be as intimidating as a circuit board. Leaving you to discover which wire goes where. As you dive into the process of figuring it out you fear the relationship might get blown up because you grabbed the wrong wire.We want to know you adore us, love us and respect us more than any other woman on the planet. Click To Tweet
I believe most men want to love and respect their wives. We want to know you adore us, love us and respect us more than any other woman on the planet. My hope is that some of these tips help you connect with respect in a greater measure with your spouse.
Final Thoughts on How To Respect Your Wife
Respect is essential in any relationship, but especially in marriage and family life.
For a marriage to work, you have to truly respect each other. We often hear the word respect as though it is a dirty word or we are saying it too much. I want to challenge that belief and encourage you to make every moment count when you think about your wife’s heart. That is where true respect can be experienced and gained.
In this article we listed eleven practical ways you can show respect to your wife.
- 1. Listen to Her
- 2. Work Hard and Provide for Your Family
- 3. Don’t Yell or Raise Your Voice at Her
- 4. Make Her Feel Secure
- 5. Don’t lie or Be Deceitful
- 6. Don’t Make Big Decisions Without Her
- 7. See Her Need For Time Alone or With Friends
- 8. Take Advice from Her
- 9. Support The Dreams She Has
- 10. Don’t Criticize Her Or Make Fun Of Her To Other People
- 11. Don’t Gawk Or Flirt With Other Women
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