Money is one of the most common issues couples face. Here are some tips on how to deal with money issues in a marriage.
If you’re having money troubles in your marriage, the first step in resolving your problem is to stop sticking your head in the sand. In other words, stop ignoring the problem. You can’t fix a problem you ignore. It only gets worse.
There are a few things you can do to ease the strain. First, open up the lines of communication with your spouse. Talk about your financial concerns and work together to come up with a plan to get back on track.
It’s also important to be honest with each other about your spending habits. If one spouse is constantly overspending, it can put a major strain on the relationship. Work together to create a budget that you both can stick to.
Money troubles can be stressful, but working together as a team can help you get through it.
Jason and Ginger had been married for five years and during that time, they had accumulated a lot of debt. They had two credit cards with high balances and a personal loan.
They were making the minimum payments on all of their debts, but the balances were not going down. In fact, they were barely keeping up with the interest. They were desperate and didn’t know what to do.
They had tried to cut back on their spending, but it seemed like every time they tried, something came up that they had to spend money on. They had even considered bankruptcy, but didn’t want to ruin their credit.
On top of all this, they wondered if they should start selling some of their possessions to try to pay down the debt. However, they didn’t want to get rid of anything that they might need in the future.
They were stuck and didn’t know what to do. They were getting more and more stressed out about their financial situation and didn’t see a way out.
Does this sound like a familiar scenario?
The Danger Zone of Debt
According to Dave Ramsey (Ramsey Solutions), The average American debt (per U.S. adult) is $58,604 and 77% of American households have at least some type of debt.
The statistics below from the US Census Bureau 2021 are staggering.
A study of over 4500 couples revealed those who carried more debt were more likely to separate (and/or divorce).
Couples who took on more debt over time became more likely to split up. Couples with higher debt also fought more about money and reported lower marital satisfaction.
A good marriage is a partnership, a bond that you need to work hard on to maintain. If you and your spouse are fighting over money, it may seem like your relationship is slowly deteriorating.
However, chances are the only thing you need to fix the situation is a little bit (or a lot) of honest conversation.
Also Read: How Does Money Affect Relationships
8 Practical Steps On How To Deal With Money Issues In Marriage
Let’s look at helpful ways of dealing with money issues in marriage.
These financial habits can help you get back on track financially, and give you victor over money matters in your marriage.
#1 Talk About Your Financial Goals.
It’s important to talk about your financial goals and discuss how you plan to achieve them. Talking through your plans can help prevent arguments in the future because it will make it clear that decisions aren’t being made out of spite or anger.
Talaat and Tai McNeely from His & Her Money put it this way:
The subject of money is just like everything else in your relationship: it all comes down to knowing how to communicate.
Be sure you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to money management. For example, if one person wants a new car but their partner thinks they could afford something smaller, those two people should come up with a plan together. That way no one feels like their needs aren’t being met—or worse yet, like their spouse isn’t listening or understanding what their needs are!
#2 Discuss Future Expenses.
Discussing future expenses is a good way to start. When you are discussing and planning for the future, it’s possible to plan and save money as well. If you or your partner has a big expense coming up (like paying back student loans), this can be a great time to talk about ways that you can help each other out financially.
Talking about your financial goals will help you avoid financial surprises in the future because one person won’t be left out of the loop when they should have known something was happening.
#3 Be Transparent
Marriage is built on trust. Trust is built on transparency. In order to get victory over money issues in your marriage, you must create trust by making sure you communicate clearly about money.
For some, this may mean you hand over a copy of your paycheck to your spouse for the sake of transparency.
When I first met Jacob and Mysty, they were over their head in debt. While they loved each other deeply, Jacob had a spending problem. HIs compulsive habits racked up over $20,000 in credit card debt. One of the first things we did to get them back on track was cut up the credit cards AND turn over the bank account to Mysty. We also set them up on a repayment schedule to chip away at the debt, but it was more important to stop the bleeding (Jacobs spending). Once this was in place, they successfully worked to eliminate their debt.
Your spouse should have access to all of your financial information. That means they should be able to see everything you spend, how much money is coming in, and what bills need to be paid.
If your partner doesn’t want to hand over this information, it’s up to you to make that leap of faith and trust them. You can do this by telling them that if there are disagreements about money in the future, it will be easier for everyone involved if there has been complete transparency from the beginning.
This might not seem like an easy step but keep in mind that being transparent with each other will help strengthen your relationship!
#4 Create A Monthly Budget Together.
Budget. It’s a dirty word to many couples. Yet it is the biggest key to overcoming financial problems.
Living on a budget simply means you live within your means. I remember hearing my parents talk about this when I was too young to understand (or care). Years later, however, I realize this principle is the key to success in most areas of life.
Warren Buffet (the brilliant investor) says there are two rules to money:
- Rule #1: Never lose money
- Rule #2: Always remember rule #1
It’s true. And when you live on a budget, you are living within your means. That means, you are not spending more than you make.
2 Keys To Proper Budgeting
- Make sure you know how much money you have coming in each month, and how much is going out. It’s also important to know how much money you have left over each month, and whether or not there will be anything left for savings after all the bills have been paid.
- You should also track your spending habits so that both of you can see where your financial priorities lie—and whether they line up with those of your spouse.
If you want more practical advice on how to set up a budget that doesn’t stress you out, read ‘How To Manage Finances In Marriage’ and download the free worksheet.
#5 Be Honest With Each Other.
Money is a touchy subject for most people, and it can be even more difficult to talk about when your partner is not on the same page as you are. If you have financial goals that don’t quite align with your spouse’s, this can cause conflict in the future. For example, one person might want to save up for their dream home while another wants to travel more often.Talking openly about these differences can help both of you understand each other better so that neither feels left out or ignored. Click To Tweet
Talking openly about these differences can help both of you understand each other better so that neither feels left out or ignored. It also allows them to express concerns they have regarding certain purchases or investments that may seem frivolous but are important to them—and vice versa!
#6 Keep Arguing To The Minimum.
Arguing over money doesn’t solve the problem. You need a plan. Not a scape-goat (someone to blame).
3 Rules About Arguing
- Don’t argue over money. If you argue over the same thing over and over again, it’s going to become a major issue in your marriage.
- Don’t argue in front of the children. Children are impressionable and they will pick up on how you’re arguing with each other, so if you have kids make sure not to let them hear any arguments or fights that could affect them negatively later on down the road when they grow up and start having their relationships with people who aren’t as good at communicating like adults do now!
- Don’t argue in front of your in-laws or friends! Sometimes we forget rules when we’re around people we love very much – but if there’s something important going on between us (like money), then I think it’s best if we try not to show those types of emotions towards each other because sometimes those emotions can get out of control fast which might cause problems for both parties involved later down the road when things get really bad between both partners after all these years being together.
Also Read :9 Ways To Beat Money Issues In Marriage
#7 Figure Out The Root Cause Of Money Issues In Marriage.
It’s important to figure out the root cause of money issues in your marriage. Money issues, as most other things, are often a symptom of a deeper issue. So you should spend time analyzing your relationship and try to understand what else is going on with each of you individually and together.
Money issues can be caused by a lack of communication between partners or even among family members, a lack of trust between partners or even among family members, and it could also be when one partner feels disrespected by another partner or anyone else involved in their lives.
This step requires deep work. Sometimes it’s tough to dig into those areas of life. That’s why getting outside help benefits you.
If want to talk about issues that manifest in unhealthy patterns in your life, we recommend ‘Online Therapy.’ It’s a great place to start. And, as of this writing, they offer a free consultation to get you started.
#8 Sit Down And Figure Out A Solution Together.
When you’re dealing with money issues in a marriage, it’s important to listen to each other. You’ll also want to be patient and open to compromise. Try to understand each other’s points of view. Then, agree on a solution that works for both of you.
Make sure your plan is realistic and put it into action by creating a budget and sticking with it!
Finally, if your solution isn’t working out as expected, take a step back and revisit the issue together before making any changes or coming up with new solutions.
Your marriage can survive any obstacle if you approach it with an open mind and an open heart.Your marriage can survive any obstacle if you approach it with an open mind and an open heart. Click To Tweet
Money issues are not the end of the world, they’re just a symptom of deeper issues, but they can be solved if both of you are willing to talk about what’s bothering each other. You wouldn’t want to end your life over money problems, so why let them ruin your marriage?
If you or your partner is feeling depressed because of money issues, please talk about it and don’t let this problem fester inside until it has destroyed both of you.
Final Thoughts on Money Problems in Marriage
Financial issues can wreck an otherwise happy relationship. Arguments about money erode and eat away at your ability to connect. It causes financial stress that shouldn’t be a mark of your marriage.
Every married couple needs ground-rules and a plan for dealing with money issues. If you can follow these tips on how to deal with money issues in a marriage, then be assured that your marriage will survive any financial difficulty.
It is important to always keep the lines of communication open and trust each other. And if necessary, consider seeking professional help to deal with your money problems or get advice from an experienced person who has been through it all before.
- The Danger Zone of Debt
- 8 Practical Steps On How To Deal With Money Issues In Marriage
Here is a list of financial resources and tools you can use to get back on track, and stay on track with your money.
Credit Repair Magic will fix your credit fast using simple, practical methods that have worked for thousands. Plus get extra bonuses when you sign up.
Credit Repair Letters are written by attorneys to help you know what and how to communicate with Credit Card companies.
The Debt Relief Manual offers practical advice on everything you need to know on HOW to eliminate credit card debt without getting trapped.
Dissolve Debt will help you reduce and eliminate tax or government debt.
Changing Your Money Mindset
For those who want to change their money mindset and learn how to manage and use money effectively, we recommend Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad Summit. It is costly, but once you are able to invest in your future self, this program is worth the money.
You can also take our Marriage Quiz to get your marriage score and find practical ways to increase communication, intimacy and trust in your relationship.