Our culture seems to be consumed with confusion and conflict over what it means to be a man. This crisis often comes to a head over the issue of vulnerability. How does a man show vulnerability?
- What do we mean when we say ‘vulnerable’?
- The benefits of masculine vulnerability
- How men can exemplify authentic vulnerability
- An example from history of what true vulnerability looks like
Have you struggled (as a man) with how to be vulnerable? Does it ‘feel’ feminine and unmanly?
Vulnerability is not what you’ve been taught? It is not weakness, feminine, or unmanly. It is a strength that allows us to connect with others on a deeper level.
The benefits of masculine vulnerability are numerous. By being vulnerable, men can create meaningful relationships with their partners, friends, and family members. This has special impact on marriage.
In fact, any healthy relationship must be based on trust and respect. These are forged by our willingness to be vulnerable and open with others. But, how does a man show his vulnerability? Is it possible to be vulnerable AND masculine? We believe so.

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Vulnerability is the willingness to be seen and express one’s true self, even in the face of judgement. It’s about having the courage to show your true identity, flaws and all.
When most men think of vulnerability, they think of weakness. But truly it is a strength—it requires bravery and trust in oneself that many lack. Despite this, experts say the ability for men to embrace vulnerability has become increasingly important.
Vulnerability means not hiding away our weaknesses or trying to disguise them as something else but being open to embracing them and understanding that they are an intrinsic part of life. By showing your vulnerable side, you demonstrate key leadership qualities such as honesty, transparency, empathy and authenticity – all essential traits worth striving for in any kind of leadership position these days.
Vulnerability also gives us the freedom to explore parts of ourselves that we often hide including fear, doubt and shame; it gives us permission to face our deepest struggles head on rather than run away from them. In doing so we lay down the foundations needed for growth, understanding and ultimately transformation within ourselves.
Being able to expose oneself with courage takes practice. You have to actively work on developing yourself so you can comfortably face difficult emotions or trial new things without feeling overwhelmed or exposed in too much pressure .
5 Surprising Benefits of Showing Vulnerability
There are many benefits of showing vulnerability. Among those, we’ve found the following 5 benefits are most surprising.
1) Improving mental health and well-being
Vulnerability is essential for emotional wellbeing. By opening up and being honest about our struggles, shortcomings, fears, mistakes and innermost thoughts, we are allowing ourselves to explore and accept the fact that we are not perfect.
This can be incredibly helpful in managing stress, anxiety and depression as it encourages greater self-awareness and generates a sense of understanding between both friends or family members.
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2) Strengthening personal relationships
Sharing your vulnerability with people helps foster more meaningful personal relationships with those around us. By revealing our vulnerabilities to others we create an openness which allows for authentic connections and relationships based on trust.
By revealing our vulnerabilities to others we create an openness which allows for authentic connections and relationships based on trust. Click To TweetThese connections are then able to strengthen as both individuals understand each other’s feelings better by being vulnerable with one another.
3) Increase self awareness
Being vulnerable means stepping away from idealized versions of ourselves we have spent years creating; these masks or personas have become mechanisms used to armor-coat our vulnerabilities and protect us from potential judgment or criticism.
In taking off the mask, it is possible to develop empathy by unleashing the suppressed emotions forcing us to confrontthese previously hidden parts of our identity; it encourages us to confront what makes us who we are beyond perceived notions of success or failure thus leading to increased self-awareness.
4) Fosters personal growth
Showing vulnerability can encourage personal growth by helping us learn about how reactions occur when combined with making mistakes, admitting wrong doings or expressing needs.
This in turn can help increase resilience against feeling overwhelmed by life experiences due to being better prepared for them mentally, knowing how bestto cope when things don’t go accordingto plan .
5) Boosts resilence and coping skills
Revealing vunerabiltiy can also offer great value towards boosting resilience:. Imagine if you opened up about your stress levels or any worries you may have but find yourself receiving words of compassion rather than creating judgements.
Having someone listen will open pathways into discussing responses such as relaxation techniques whilst improving your confidence in ourselves knowing that there are people out there willing to help in circumstances where support is needed.
Ways for Men to Show Vulnerability
One of the drawbacks of men expressing vulnerability is the stigma of weakness. Many men feel that by showing their feelings and emoitons they are ‘less than manly.’ While I do not advocate wearing your feelings on your sleeve, or reducing yourself to a blubbering mess, there are ways for men to show vulnerability without sacrificing their masculinity.
I am very aware of gender differences and how they play out in real life. I am for embracing those differences, not merging them.
1) Expressing Emotions and Being Open About Feelings
Men can show vulnerability by expressing their emotions and being open about their feelings. Allowing yourself to feel and show emotions is a sign of strength; it shows that you trust yourself enough to be honest with how you feel. Expressing your innermost thoughts also opens up space for honest conversations, allowing a deeper connection between you and the ones closest to you.
Expressing your innermost thoughts also opens up space for honest conversations, allowing a deeper connection between you and the ones closest to you. Click To Tweet2) Admitting Weaknesses and Mistakes
Admitting weaknesses or mistakes can be difficult but showing that you are vulnerable, or not perfect, can make others respect and appreciate you more. Getting honest about what we’re weak at validates our humanity and allows us to learn from our experiences without shame or guilt.
Vulnerability should never stop anyone from striving to achieve their goals, in fact most successes start off with admitting “I am here”.
3) Asking for Help and Support (Men Need Each Other)
Vulnerability is often seen as a form of weakness when in fact it’s quite the opposite – It demonstrates courage in reaching out for additional help or support from those around them.
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It takes strength to recognize that even though someone may be rough around the edges on the outside, there is an undeniable need for human connectedness which can only be found within ourselves when we reach out to one another instead of pushing people away out of fear of judgement or rejection.
The culture of forever relying on self-sufficiency is slowly being broken down as men recognize they need other men just as much as they need themselves in order to thrive emotionally.
4) Forming Intimate Connections with Others
Being able to access our softer side through forming intimate connections with others helps weaken some rigid walls we have intentionally built up around ourselves over time. It gives men permission to let go of defense mechanisms like anger which usually just leaves them feeling disconnected towards themselves or loneliness towards others if its unnoticed.
Finally, creating lasting connections opens up a world full of possibilities where everyone involved is allowed be vulnerable while still keeping a sense of masculinity intact!
5) Engaging in Activities That Promote Self-Reflection & Introspection
Asking for help from others is not a sign of weakness, but rather shows that you trust them enough to be honest with how you feel. Let’s be honest. Every man needs guy friends, just like every woman needs her set of female friends.
Forming close connections with people can also help men express their vulnerability without feeling like they have to hide behind a mask of masculinity.
This is why men’s groups and gatherings flourish. Men need each other to keep us (and make us) strong.
The following is a list of groups (US) that are growing and reaching men.
- The Men’s Summit 2023
- Promise Keepers
- National Men’s Conference
- Men of Valor
- Men’s Ministry
- Wild at Heart (John Eldredge)
The goal of each of these ministries is to help men rediscover true masculinity and celebrate their male-ness.
If you want to join with your church (or start something in your area) to reach men and equip them for real manhood, check out the resources at National Coalition of Men’s Ministries.
To close out this section, I’ll share a portion of an interview that Ben Shapiro did with Jordan Peterson on The Current Crisis of Masculinity. It’s worth watching to frame what we are talking about concernin vulnerability and what that means in terms of masculinity.
Real-life Examples of Vulnerability in Men
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I believe words can paint a thousand pictures.
I want to close with the story of two men who shaped history by setting aside their fears and became vulnerable enough to listen to each other. I hope as you reflect on this story it is obvious that vulnerability doesn’t mean weakness, or femininity in men. It is a sign of strength and honor.
I also hope you can see how this applies to marriage and every relationship in your life.
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Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglass
Their story begins with a remarkable instance of courage. Two powerful men stepping beyond their comfort zones and daring to risk potential backlash by not only acknowledging their vulnerability, but embracing it as a strength.
Lincoln and Douglass were an unlikely alliance, but one that would rewrite history.
They both put their egos aside to engage in the newfound capacity to listen closely, be open-minded and willing to compromise and collaborate for the greater good.
Lincoln accepted the challenge of facing his own inner turmoil and had the courage to come out of his self-protection bubble, tearing down racial divides between white’s like himself and African American’s such as Fredrick Douglas.
Lincoln too had known pain in life which gave him a unique understanding into struggling people everywhere – black or white – resulting driven by empathy for all people regardless of race, who economy class or lack thereof during times of hardship.
The two men fought together, despite standing on opposite sides of differences they strove towards common ground meeting place – eventually succeeding slavery through The Emancipation Proclamation Act which freed slaves throughout America forever more irrespective of previous arrangements existing at state level prior being overturned at federal level – something they wouldn’t have accomplished without mutual respect expressed between two parties willing to sacrifice some staunchly held points view on either side so morality might prevail universally in heart United States nation country today now stand inside.
Their journey was far from easy. This is why their willingness to be vulnerable with one another was key to the success of their dreams and goals.
What Can You Do To Become More Vulnerable?
Exploring vulnerability can help us make meaningful connections with others. It can be scary to open up, but if we do it with care, it can help us build trust and have better conversations. To do this, we need to be brave and accept that it might not always work out the way we want. But if we take a chance, it could lead to deeper understanding and connection.
When we are vulnerable in relationships, it is important to set boundaries so that everyone feels safe and respected. This helps create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing their stories without fear of judgment or comparison.
Take the Marriage Quiz and discover your marriage score and get suggestions on how to improve your relationship. You will also be sent the results of your quiz along with suggestions on how to create the marriage of your dreams. >> Take The Quiz Now <<
Taking risks in relationships can be hard but rewarding. If we are willing to open up and share our feelings, it can lead to growth and fulfillment in all areas of life – especially when it comes to love!
Where To Find Help
We have resources available to help you create the marriage you desire and deserve.
The Healthy Marriage Quiz
If you want specific help for your marriage, or you want to know your healthy marriage score, take the marriage quiz. You’ll get immediate access with suggestions on how to improve your relationship.
The Healthy Marriage Toolkit
Books, Courses, Programs, and Tools designed to help you create the marriage of your dreams.
Five Simple Steps Marriage Course
Marriage doesn’t have to be complicated. In this 5 part mini-series, you’ll discover practical steps to redesign your marriage.
Healthy Marriage Academy
Our courses will help you build a strong marriage. Each course is designed to meet a specific relationship need.
If you are having serious marriage struggles, we recommend starting with ‘Save the Marriage System‘ by Lee Baucom.