Are you looking for ways to better understand your emotional needs as a man? This article is packed with information on the different ways to meet your husband’s emotional needs.
Let’s face it, most men don’t want to talk about their feelings. Even if they say that they do, most men are just too embarrassed or afraid to admit it. We’re here to break through the barriers and provide you with the tools you need to create emotional happiness and satisfaction in your marriage.
A man can only be truly fulfilled and happy when his emotional needs are met. We will address the seven needs of every man, and give you four practical steps you can take to meet those needs.
Men Have Feelings Too
Ever heard the joke about a man’s feelings?
It goes like this: Men have feelings too. We feel hungry. And we feel amorous.
I know. It’s probably overly stereotypical. Could even be considered a little distasteful.
Yet, it does make a pretty good point. Men and women not only express emotions differently, but we also have emotions that are different. At least to a degree.
In this article, we will talk about the seven (7) emotional needs of a man, and practical ways (as a wife) you can meet those needs.
7 Emotional Needs Of A Man
Before we delve into this subject, it’s important to know that every man is different. We have different desires, needs, and perspectives on our priorities.
However, there are some needs that seem to be common to all men. These are the ones I’ve tried to identify and discuss. If they do not resonate with you, that’s okay. But I’ve found that at least a few of these are true of every man.
By understanding your husband’s needs, you will be better able to grow together and make your marriage rich.
1) He needs to feel respected
I can’t overstate this fact. Respect is the #1 need of men.
Respect is important to a man because it is a sign of acknowledgment and appreciation. It shows that you respect him for his accomplishments, his character, and his worth as a person. When a man feels respected, it builds his self-esteem and makes him feel valued. This can make him more responsive to your needs and more likely to want to please you.A man who feels respected is also likely to be more communicative and emotionally available. Click To Tweet
A man who feels respected is also likely to be more communicative and emotionally available.
When a man doesn’t feel respected, especially by his wife, it can lead to resentment, withdrawal, and even divorce. It’s therefore important for wives to always show respect to their husbands, even during disagreements. This may seem chauvinistic, but that’s not how it is intended. It is possible to disagree and still have respect for one another.
2) He needs to know you are proud of him
One of our biggest drives as men is to be a good provider. To us, being a good provider means providing for our families financially, physically, and emotionally. In other words, we want to provide well for our families.
This desire is so strong in most men that if he is not successful in meeting his financial obligations or providing for his family, he may become depressed.
This is why it’s so important for wives to be supportive of their husbands’ efforts to provide for them. Of course, I’m assuming your spouse is a man of honor who values work. If you are married to someone who doesn’t work or desire to provide well, this certainly doesn’t apply to you.
But for most, it is important to understand that a man wants to be appreciated for what he provides. And when he isn’t, he becomes frustrated and unhappy.
This is why he needs to feel that you are proud of him. He needs to know that you think he is doing a great job and that you appreciate all the hard work he puts in. He needs to feel like you are behind him, 100%.
When a man feels this way, it makes him want to do even better and work even harder. He will feel like he can take on the world because he knows that he has your support.
3) He needs to feel physically desired by you
A man needs to feel physically desired by his wife. When a woman stops taking care of her appearance, stops wanting to be intimate with her husband, or just generally seems to lose interest in him, it can be very damaging to his self-esteem.
A man wants to feel like his wife is still attracted to him and wants him around. If she doesn’t, it can lead to feelings of self-doubt, insecurity, and even depression.
Additionally, a man needs regular physical intimacy in order to feel emotionally connected to his wife. Sex is not just about pleasure; it’s also about emotional intimacy and connection. When a man doesn’t feel like his wife desires him physically, it can lead to a feeling of emotional abandonment.
So, what can a wife do to make sure her husband feels desired?
- Stay physically active; feeling healthy increases the chemicals associated with desire
- Be willing to be intimate with her husband; don’t use sex as a tool to manipulate your spouse
- Make time for regular physical intimacy, even if it’s just a quick hug or kiss.
The bottom line is to simply show interest. Many times (for a man) it is not merely the act of intimacy, but knowing your wife desires you that counts.
4) He needs to feel accepted for who he is
In our quest to have better marriages, we often fall into the trap of trying to change our partner. This cuts both ways; it is not a female issue vs a male issue. It is a human issue.
However, when a man feels his wife is trying to change him, he resists. Not merely because he is stubborn. Rather, he needs to believe you trust him and believe in him. If you are trying to change him, he doesn’t feel accepted for who he is.
A man needs to feel accepted for who he is. He needs to know that he can be himself and that he is loved and respected for that. If he doesn’t feel accepted, he may become isolated and withdraw from those around him.
It is important for a man to feel accepted by his family, friends, and community. But especially from his wife. This is someone he will be sharing his life with and it is important that she accepts him for who he is. If she tries to change him, it will only lead to unhappiness for both of them.It is important for a man to feel accepted by his family, friends, and community. But especially from his wife. Click To Tweet
In order for a man to be happy, he needs to feel accepted. It is a basic need that must be met in order for him to thrive. He needs to know that he is loved and that he matters. When he feels accepted, he will be more likely to open up and share his feelings with others.
A man desires know that you accept him as he is. That you love him despite any flaws he may possess.
5) He Needs To Feel Secure
This is usually (often) thought of as a feminine trait. But men need to feel secure. It looks different than it does in a woman, but at its core, it is the same. Security matters to men.
He wants to feel secure in your love. To know he is the only one who ‘floats your boat.’
A man needs to feel like he can count on his partner to be there for him, both emotionally and physically. He needs to feel like he can trust her to be loyal and supportive, no matter what life throws their way. When a man feels secure in his relationship, he is free to be himself and to enjoy the relationship without fear or doubt.
He wants to feel safe. He wants to know that no matter how hard things get, you won’t leave him. You’ll always come back to him.
He wants to know that you’re there for him. Even when he messes up, he knows you’ll still be there for him.
When a man feels secure, he is much more likely to share his thoughts and feelings with you. He is much more likely to ask for help and advice. He is much more inclined to reach out and connect with others.
6) He Wants To Know He Is A Priority
This is not only a male desire; every person desires to know they are chosen, favored, and they matter more than other ‘things.’
Men want to know that they are special to you. They want to know that you think about them before you think about anything else. They want to know you care enough about them to put them first.
They want to know that you see them as being more important than all the other things in your life. They want to know they are worth putting time into.
They want to know that you value them. They want to know their opinions matter. They want to know if they have something to offer you, that you would consider listening to them.
If a man doesn’t feel valued, he will begin to lose respect for himself. He will start to believe that he isn’t worthy of your attention. He will stop trying because he believes you don’t really care about him.
If he feels like he’s not a priority, he will find ways to make himself less attractive. He will try to change his appearance so that you notice him more. He will take prideful actions that show off his body and give him an ego boost.
He wants to be seen as someone who deserves your attention. He wants to be noticed. He wants to know he has value.
7) He Needs To Know It’s Okay To Have Interest Outside Of The Marriage
I’m not talking about other ‘love interests.’ Men like to do guy stuff. With other guys.
My wife and I both love to hike and fish. I’ve written about how fishing enhances our relationship.
We love to spend summer afternoons either on the lake or in the mountains near us. We take our dog Maggie and have a family outing. We both enjoy it.
I also like to do those things with my buddies. Guys need guy friends. Just like girls need girlfriends. It’s healthy and normal.
However, I’ve met women who didn’t like for their husbands to have hobbies that didn’t involve them. They want their spouse with them all the time. This is not healthy. Michelle often tells young couples to spend time apart, so they can enjoy their time together. She loves to quote: How can I miss you if I’m always with you?
My wife likes to go to sporting events. But it does my heart good to get four or five buddies together to go to a baseball game.
Not long ago, some guys I do business with met in Nashville to go to a baseball game to watch the Nashville Sounds. It was good to hang out with friends.
How To Emotionally Support A Man: 4 Practical Steps To Create An Emotional Connection
How can you help meet the emotional needs of your husband? Here are several ways you can make your spouse feel loved and accepted.
1) Compliment Him Often
Everyone loves to be complimented. Men are no different. If you’re going to compliment your husband, make sure you do it often.
Compliments are a way of showing your appreciation and love for someone. It can make the person feel special and important. Compliments help to build a deeper relationship because it makes the other person feel good about themselves, and that makes them want to spend more time with you.
Compliments also help to create a positive atmosphere in a relationship. When both people are always giving and receiving compliments, it makes the relationship more joyful and happy. Compliments help to keep the relationship positive and prevent any arguments or fights from happening.
So if you want to have a deeper and more meaningful relationship with someone, start by giving them compliments. It will make them feel loved and appreciated, and it will make the relationship stronger and happier.
2) Flirt With Him
Flirting may seem like an adolescent behavior, but research shows that when couples flirt with one another, it enhances their communcation and level of marriage satisifaction.
Flirting with your spouse is one way to show them that you still find them attractive and interesting. It can help keep the spark alive in your relationship and can make your bond stronger. Flirting also releases feel-good hormones like dopamine and oxytocin, which can make you feel happier and more connected to your partner. So if you want to keep your relationship strong, playful, and happy, flirt with your spouse often!
You can also try some of these tips:
- Make eye contact and smile
- Compliment your partner
- Send flirty text messages
- Playfully tease your partner
- Be affectionate
- Touch your partner often
- Create a playful bedroom atmosphere
These are just a few of the practical ways you can enhance your relationship and meet your husband’s emotional need of intimacy.
3) Touch Him
Men actually enjoy physical touch. We may not act like that, but we do. It’s built into our DNA to feel connected. For a man, one way to express connection is touch.
Why do you think guys slap each other on the rear after a good play on the football field. Or why do they high-five one another?
Sure, it’s symbolic. But it provides a connection.Men not only want to feel connected to their peers and guy-friends, but they also desire physical connection with their spouse. Click To Tweet
Men not only want to feel connected to their peers and guy-friends, but they also desire physical connection with their spouse.
This is more than sexual contact. Physical touch can be provided by holding his hand. From personal experience, there is something powerful that takes place in my heart when Michelle grabs my hand when we are walking across a parking lot or sitting on the couch.
4) Listen To Him
Michelle and I take regular walks. We love to hike and spend time outdoors.
When we walk, I often ramble on about politics, religion, culture, business, and academic non-sense. She always listens. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t always ‘get’ what I’m talking about (not that she is incompetent, but that I rattle on about things). But she always gives me her attention.
She lets me know she values my opinions on issues and she respects what I say.
I’ve met couples who turn a conversation into a battlefield.
We had dinner some time back with a couple who demonstrated this kind of ‘verbal warfare.’ If he said something, she interrupted to correct some minor details he overlooked. When she talked about something, he would interject a contrasting opinion.
It was exhausting. It made them both seem insecure and disrespectful.
Final Thoughts on the Emotional Needs of a Man
There are many ways to meet the emotional needs of a man. In this article, we explored seven needs every man has, and we listed four specific things a wife can do to increase the mental health of her spouse.
Learning to create a feeling of happiness in others is a skill that every spouse should build.
- 7 Emotional Needs Of A Man
- How To Emotionally Support A Man: 4 Practical Steps To Create An Emotional Connection