In This Article
- Lesson #1: Is The Glass Half Full? Or Half Empty?
- Lesson #2: You Can Always Put More Water In The Glass
- Lesson #3: You Can Change the Color of the Water
- Lesson #4: You Can Use the Swirl to Your Advantage
- Lesson #5: You Can Drink the Water
- Wrapping Up
Object lessons are everywhere.
You just need to pay attention in order to see them.
When I was in High School (many moons ago young warrior) I had a friend named Jerry. He was always drawing lessons from things that happened to him, or from things he saw.
If Jerry saw a stick on the ground, he might say something like this:
‘You know, life is like that stick on the ground. It’s dry and has no leaves because it’s not connected a tree. The tree provides the sap that gives it life. It can’t live without that connection.
‘We are like that stick. If we stop feeding our minds we will die just like that stick. “
Get the point?
Jerry was quite the armchair philosopher.
I was recently in a conversation with a guy and he did the same thing. He pulled a ‘Jerry.’
He was talking about relationships and he made a unique analogy using something sitting right in front of us. A glass of water.
Made me think of my friend Jerry.
It got me thinking. I saw a few other things in that glass of water we can relate to marriage.
In this article I want to give you a few golden nuggets about relationships. Hopefully it will get your mind in gear to see how it fits your marriage.
By the way, you can assume that if there is a link to a product or service in this article I will get a commission if you buy something. This doesn’t affect the price you pay. It gives me a little coffee money for my habit.
5 Things We Can Learn About Marriage From A Glass Of Water
Lesson #1: Is The Glass Half Full? Or Half Empty?
Okay. I know this is no new revelation. But it’s important none the less.
Think about it.
Our perspective on marriage issues determines how we approach the subject of resolving problems.
If you see life as always ‘the glass is half empty’ and you have a predominately negative mindset when it comes to your marriage issues, you will have a hard time seeing solutions to even common problems.
Everything is magnified by our outlook.
Your outlook is colored by your negative perspective and mindset.If you see life as always ‘the glass is half empty’ and you have a predominately negative mindset when it comes to your marriage issues, you will have a hard time seeing solutions to even common problems. Click To Tweet
I’m sure you’ve heard the idiom: Rose Colored Glasses
According to ThoughtCo.com, the origin of the term is a mystery. Some suggest it comes from the word rosy which was used in the 1700’s as a word for happy, cheerful and optimism.
Some even suggest it comes from the 20th Century when chicken farmers used colored goggles on chickens to keep them from pecking one another.
Regardless of where it originated, it means the same thing. If you wear rose (or any color) glasses on your eyes, everything becomes the color of the glasses. Hence the statement.
Works in the positive AND negative.
If you have a positive perspective on life, you will tend to see problems as stepping stones.
However, if you have a negative mindset, even little things become big issues. Stepping stones become problems. What should be an easy fix is a major conflict.
Small idiosyncrasies that you found adorable become habits you can’t stand.
What changed? The little personality quirks of your partner didn’t. They’ve always been there.
Your attitude changed.
That’s why that same action now irritates you. It’s not THEIR quirks. It’s YOUR perspective.
Jacque Morris discusses this in the following video.
Pete and Claire have been married for over 20 years.
Pete has always had this habit of taking off his hat (he wore a baseball hat almost every day of his life) and scratch his head when he was in deep thought.
When they were dating, Claire never even noticed.
But now…it drives Claire up the wall. When he pulls that hat off, she lets out a loud ‘umph’ and storms off.
Why would a man pulling his hat off and scratching his head irritate someone?
It’s not the act of removing his hat. Or scratching his head.
That should not trigger that kind of response.
The real issue is something far deeper.
Claire has developed a negative perspective on life. She criticizes people, never finds joy in little things, and lives in constant fear of rejection (which is ironic since she is so critical of others).
Her problem? The glass is half empty. Never half full.
If Pete does something nice for her, it’s never enough.
If he compliments her hair, it’s too late. He should have noticed earlier.
Can you see the problem?
If you want a better marriage, happier life and peaceful soul, change the way you see the glass.
Need help with that?
A good place to start is Mike Brescia. He’s done research on the three components necessary to break negative mental patterns to transform your life.
Lesson #2: You Can Always Put More Water In The Glass
This is another ‘simple concept’ yet so many people overlook it.
Too often we see the problem as the final answer to our situation. It is not.
Ever heard the idiom: Necessity is the mother of invention!?
A problem is simply an opportunity to use your genius to create a unique solution.
New products are created each year. They are basically designed to do one of two things:
1. Solve a problem
2. Make life better, easier and/or faster
When you see the image below, what do you see?
What about this. Why not see it as an opportunity to put more water in?
We often limit our thinking because we get locked in to one perspective.
Truth is, we have the ability to pick up a pitcher of water and pour more into the glass.
How does this apply to marriage?
For starters, we need to stop thinking of our problems as ‘final answers.’ They are not the end game. They are one stop along the way to our destiny.
Second, we need to know that when we make a choice to put more water in the glass, we change the enter dynamic of our marriage.We need to stop thinking of our problems as ‘final answers.’ They are not the end game. They are one stop along the way to our destiny. Click To Tweet
A simple change in our attitude produces huge results.
Check out this video from SoulPancake on The Science of Happiness.
Here’s the main point:
Don’t get so locked in to one perspective (idea, concept, etc) that you forget you have the power to simply add more water.
Same with marriage.
Instead of getting stuck wondering why your marriage is in the condition it is, start adding water.
Do the little things that fill up the glass.
Need help with this?
One of my favorite author’s and motivational speakers is Denis Waitley. His program on how to handle conflict and manage anger is one the best resources for learning how to put water in the glass.
Lesson #3: You Can Change the Color of the Water
This is similar to the previous point.
We can change the color of the water by adding food coloring. We’ve all seen this done a thousand times.
Get a glass of water. Squirt a few drops of red dye in the glass. The clear water turns red.
Check out this cool video by Elearmin [Science Experiments for Kids] where they use colored water to change the color of flowers.
How does this work?
From the video we learn:
There is water present in the stem and flowers. This water is evaporated from the leaves and flowers through the openings. These opening are called as stomata. This process is called transpiration.
Not only can you change the color of the water, but you can also take it another step and change the flower.
What does this have to do with marriage?
Remember my friend Jerry?
He would put it like this…
We have the power to take something average (like clear water), add something to it (like dye) and change it. That little change can affect everything else in our lives.We have the power to take something average (like clear water), add something to it (like dye) and change it. That little change can affect everything else in our lives. Click To Tweet
When we change one aspect of OUR life, it has an impact on our marriage.
Just like the colored water changed the flower.
Want to know how to do this better?
Relationship coach Brad Browning has an interesting video on three secrets to saving your marriage. This is not just for those with marriage trouble; it’s great advice for anyone who wants a better relationship
Lesson #4: You Can Use the Swirl to Your Advantage
When you put a spoon in a glass and swirl it around in the same direction for a few seconds, the water begins to move in the same direction with greater and greater speed and intensity.
It creates a ‘wake’ of sorts. The force of the constant movement causes the water to pick up speed and generate it’s own momentum.
Think about this for a minute.
Problems are a bit like the swirl of water in a glass.
They tend to take on a life of their own. Even after the event (or situation) that triggered the problem is removed, the force of emotions keep the problem moving in the same direction.
It’s not easy to work against that swirl.
If you get the water moving in a glass in a certain direction, then you try to go in the opposite direction, it’s difficult.
The force of the water pushes against the new direction.
It’s possible to change that force, but it does take effort.
Same with marriage problems.
They tend to have a life of their own. Our thoughts, behavior, and attitude keep the swirl going in a negative direction.
To change this, you have to consciously create a swirl in the opposite direction.
Again, it takes work. But it can happen.
Good news is, once the swirl is moving the right direction, it can also take on a life of it’s own. It’s not as hard to maintain once you get it moving.
Want more help in this area?
Otto and Susie Collins are on their second marriage. Many of the mistakes previously kept coming back to haunt them. They needed to learn how to communicate effectively. During their journey they learned several keys that put them on the right course. They call those secrets ‘Magic Relationship Words.”
Lesson #5: You Can Drink the Water
This is probably my favorite concept.
Water is a necessity of life. Not a luxury. A necessity.
We need to survive.
Our bodies are somewhere between 60-70% water. Without water, we simply cannot live.
Here’s an interesting TED-Ed video on the necessity of water.
Thinking back to my friend Jerry…
He would have a ‘heyday’ with the life lessons found in this video.
But let’s move on…
When I see the glass of water, I don’t automatically think if the glass is half empty or half full.
I don’t necessarily wonder if I need more water.
Or consider what color it is.
I’m not concerned if the water is moving in the glass.
My first reaction is…
To take a drink.
Especially if I’m thirsty.
Here’s my point…
We need water. Drinking it gives us life.
Same with marriage.
Too often we get caught up the issues of having a relationship. We let our differences get in the way of simply enjoying one another.
But marriage is designed for our enjoyment.
Don’t forget that.
Write it down if you must. But remember it.
Marriage was created for your enjoyment.
I met my wife, Michelle, and fell in love with her. I wanted to spend my life with her.
Now that we are married, I never want to lose sight of what attracted us to each other in the first place. – our desire to be together.
I think Jerry would be proud.
Seriously. I’ve learned from this little experiment.
When we think about ways to improve our relationship, our brains can get very creative.
If we develop the habit (like Jerry did) of seeing things from the eyes of a learner, we will train our minds to consider how to build a better marriage.If we develop the habit of seeing things from the eyes of a learner, we will train our minds to consider how to build a better marriage. Click To Tweet
Anyway, kudos to my friend for reminding me to notice the little things in life and pay attention to the lessons they can teach us.
How about you? Do you see a lesson I missed in a glass of water?
I’d love to hear it.
Leave me a comment.
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