If there was one thing I could say about creating a healthy marriage, it would be building trust in marriage is the starting point.
Without trust, love is hindered, intimacy choked, and partnership challenged.
Trust is the foundation we have to build on.
I shared this with a couple recently who was having difficulty in their marriage. The natural response was: We see that! But HOW can we build trust in our marriage. We both feel disappointment in our relationship.
The four videos below will help you start the journey.
They have been specifically chosen because each one is different; each one offers a unique perspective on trust and building trust. Two of them are specifically about marriage. The other two are not. I’ve added comments below to help you connect the ideas to your marriage.
4 Videos Every Couple Should Watch on Building Trust in Marriage
Video #1: How To Build Trust
This is a TED Talk by Frances Frei.
Frances is a Harvard professor. In this video she talks about her work at Uber during a time they were facing their biggest challenge because of loss of trust. The major lesson is exercise empathy.
Two ways to communicate:
Way #1: Take people on a journey. Tell the story. And then get to the point.
This works many times, but falls short in others.
Her recommendation?
Way #2: Start with your point and give support ideas and concepts. Then tell the story.
When we start with our issue, point or concern, we get the issue on the table first. This way there are no surprises.
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How This Applies To Marriage:
One major struggle in relationships is the breakdown of communication. This video will help you understand the importance of framing your conversation in a way that produces empathy and clearly conveys your message.
She concludes: “If we can learn to trust one another more, we can have unprecedented human progress.”
Video #2: Why Good Leaders Make You Feel Safe
Simon Sinek delivers another brilliant talk TED Talk on what makes a great leader. His conclusion is great leaders make people feel safe.
How This Applies To Marriage:
One of the foundational principles we believe at The Healthy Marriage is how love cannot be experienced in its fullest without trust. When you trust someone (truly believe they have your best interest at heart) you feel safe. When you feel safe, you have the freedom to openly share your life with your spouse.
Simon makes a case for why greatest is bound up in our ability to help people feel safe.
“If you get the environment right, every one of has the capacity to do remarkable things.”
Video #3: How To Rebuild Lost Trust In A Relationship
Sooner or later trust is broken. Why? Because we are all human. Maybe it’s not over a major issue; sometimes it’s the little things that erode confidence.
Does this mean it’s impossible to rebuild trust? Absolutely not.
Here are four simple steps on how to rebuild trust when it’s been broken.
1. Communication
2. Connection
3. Agreements in Writing
4. Keep a Positive Story
Listen as Kirk Duncan explains these four steps.
How This Applies To Marriage:
Sometimes we need a game plan to get back on track. Part of the problem is we do the wrong things at the wrong time. Or we don’t know HOW to get the relationship back on track.
This video will help couples who struggle with moving forward after wounds and disappointments in the relationship.
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Video #4: 3 Proven Steps to Restore Trust in Marriage
Marriage Experts, Marc Johnston and Heather Choate discuss the mechanics of trust. They explore three keys to restoring trust.
1. Acceptance and Understanding
2. Acknowledgement and Encouragement
3. Openness and Vulnerability
Listen as they explore these three concepts.
How This Applies To Marriage:
Because they are marriage coaches, Marc and Heather show how these concepts play out in the marriage relationship. Trust is the major component of a healthy relationship. So putting understanding these keys and knowing how to put them into practice is vital.
I love this statement:
‘Detach from the current circumstances (the negative things that have happened), think about where we would ideally like to go…”
Wrapping It Up
Because trust is so important in a marriage, learning how to create an atmosphere of trust is crucial.
These four videos lay the framework for building a strong foundation of trust.
I’d love to get your take on these videos (as well as the idea of how to (re)build trust in your marriage. Leave a comment below and let us know your thoughts.
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